Page 759 - Total War on PTSD

I have done outpatient treatment for PTSD over the years. I am currently in treatment but not working has been the best thing for me. I miss the amount of money I made but the work took a toll on me. It's hard to "make friends" with my PTSD because, just when you think you get to know what is going on, it seems to blindside you in what feels like out of nowhere. My PTSD makes me keep to myself and increases my depression.
I was in an abusive training unit that was eventually shut down because of its abuse. I went to a fitness training unit first. They had all the Drill Sergeants who were in trouble, and they would take bets on us, things like that. Somehow, I went from there to a regular training unit. I was already injured by then but I was still trying. Then I found out that the same kinds of things were happening there too. I had gone to the Chaplain initially and I tried to tell him some things but he told on me. Of course, it sounds so silly now but he told my leadership that I was sneaking to the PX (the on-base store). If I couldn't tell him something like that in confidence, why would I ever tell him the other stuff? I just kept thinking if I could just get out of here that I'd be fine...if I could just get to my next duty station, I'd be fine.
I had stress fractures that led to a fractured hip and knee. My right shoulder was stretched out of my socket from having to use crutches extensively. I passed my physical because my shoulder was hyper-flexible. My shoulder would dislocate very easily. Five surgeries later I still have issues with my shoulder. Someone finally figured out I was missing about half my cartilage in there, so that's probably been a large part of my problem. The first surgery they did a capsular shift, the second a decompression, then a rotator cuff, a heat version, then a shoulder reconstruction. The procedure that they used to tighten up my capsule with the use of heat was
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