Page 772 - Total War on PTSD

that we were in fact still in a country where the nationals would rather see us deceased than alive. I found out later that day that the soldier was one I had to report as KIA from an IED. The deployment rolled by fast for me after that. I had an incident with another soldier that involved blackmailing. I would rather not go into that story. I just recently opened up and told my husband about the situation.
When I came home, I felt like a stranger to civilian ways. My husband and I moved to the country where I could have my horses, dogs, ducks, chickens, etc. I was loving life. In 2015 I accepted my first job offer through insurance sales. I quickly realized that I did not have the patience I used to have. I bounced from one job to another and had four jobs over the period of four years. I felt like people in our country had become self-absorbed without a care for the soldiers overseas. It made me very angry. My husband started noticing a significant difference in my behaviors and actions. Obviously, I thought I was fine.
By May 21, 2017, I had one true friend. I had lost my closeness to my family, and my marriage was falling apart. That date will forever be with me like a ghost. My husband and I got into an argument and he threatened to leave me. I freaked out and begged for him to kill me. He called me crazy and decided to sleep in the other room. That pushed me even further because I started feeling like I wasn't worth anything anymore. I grabbed my pistol out of my bag and knocked on the door of the bedroom he was in. He opened it and saw the pistol. I asked him one more time to shoot me since I couldn't do it myself. He shut the door in my face and I went into our bedroom. I closed the door and locked it behind me. I sat down on the floor and made the decision to do it myself. I put the pistol to my head and placed my finger on the trigger. The
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