Page 871 - Total War on PTSD

“The love of a dog is a pure thing. He gives you a trust which is total. You must not betray it.” - Michel Houellebecq
Courtenay: Similar to Jonathan, I didn't get a lot of sleep during my deployment and there were times that I would work all day and part of the night and just forget to eat. I don't know what the reason was but I just wasn't hungry in the slightest and I was constantly busy with no slowing down so I guess it was just too easy to forget.
The military also provided me with the perception of a framework of loyalty and dedication to service. When my career came closer to being over, however, that perception was replaced with disappointment and distrust. I didn't feel I belonged anymore. I was in a Navy that I no longer felt I could call my own.
When I go to VA appointments, I find a majority of the Veterans in my peer group or younger with severe issues and even missing limbs. A lot of them have some level of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) from various types of explosions or weapon related events.
Even though I have a TBI diagnosis, I don’t belong, or rather I don’t feel like I deserve to stand alongside those who got TBI in other ways. I got it either during ECT treatment or when I coded during an ECT procedure, making it necessary for them to use the crash cart to bring me back.
Because of my memory and communication issues I can frequently be repetitive, and am easily frustrated, often prompting people to tune me out. Older Veterans seem to carry themselves with
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