Page 1010 - Total War on PTSD

country, when we were back home everyone knew who we were. This was even the case when we were in-country (Iraq) on the FOBs (Forward Operating Bases), we still stood out from all the other troops. It was a wonderful feeling to know that you were the best of the best.
Being around people who are not SPECOPS (Special Operations) is a major issue for me. I am always on guard wherever I am unless I have 'one of the guys' with me to watch my back. So, going out in public can be very stressful for me because of not knowing what's going on around me and who I can trust. My head is on a constant swivel trying to watch everyone at the same time. There have been very few times when I would ever leave the house unarmed prior to my having a Service Dog. When I would have one of the guys with me it was one of the few times, I could relax a little...but never too much. Any time I go out to eat I have to sit in the back with my back against the wall where I can see people. Now with my Service Dog I don't have to do that as much as I used to because it is Remmy's job to watch my back at all times...as it will also be for Valor.
When it comes to trusting people, that can be a major issue for me. I have a hard time doing this even with my own family. I have been married four times so when it comes to relationships there is a major issue when trusting people because I didn't make a lot of good choices in the women I married until recently. With the latest marriage my wife is the first one whom I feel I can trust to a point. I think it also helps because we went to high school together and are from a very small town so we have the same morals and values.
I can be honest and say I don't like civilians at all and would prefer to only deal with Veterans and then normally only the ones that were in the SPECOPS community. As my mother would say is that I hate people and only truly like animals. They are the only ones that I know I can truly trust and won't screw me over since they don't know how to.
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