Page 825 - Total War on PTSD

soldiers overseas. It made me very angry. My husband started noticing a significant difference in my behaviors and actions. Obviously, I thought I was fine.
By May 21, 2017, I had one true friend. I had lost my closeness to my family, and my marriage was falling apart. That date will forever be with me like a ghost. My husband and I got into an argument and he threatened to leave me. I freaked out and begged for him to kill me. He called me crazy and decided to sleep in the other room. That pushed me even further because I started feeling like I wasn't worth anything anymore. I grabbed my pistol out of my bag and knocked on the door of the bedroom he was in. He opened it and saw the pistol. I asked him one more time to shoot me since I couldn't do it myself. He shut the door in my face and I went into our bedroom. I closed the door and locked it behind me. I sat down on the floor and made the decision to do it myself. I put the pistol to my head and placed my finger on the trigger. The only safety on my pistol is simple...don't pull the trigger. I had calmed down holding the pistol to my head. I knew I was ready.
As I started to tense up with the pressure, I turned the pistol away and shot the round into the wall. My husband heard the round and busted through the door. He saw me crying and holding the pistol stating, "I couldn't do it...I couldn't do it." He called 911 immediately and was talking to the operator about needing help for my safety. I gave him the pistol. I talked to the operator and was told there were a couple of deputies coming to help me. I thanked her and gave the phone back to my husband. Close to 20 minutes later, two deputies pulled into the driveway. The younger deputy was talking to me about the situation and her repeatedly told me I wasn't in trouble. He was going to make sure I got the help I needed. I felt like I was going to be fine and could make the changes I needed to in order to find who I used to be. The deputy who was talking to me asked me to stand up and put my hands behind my back. I was being arrested
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