Page 999 - Total War on PTSD

just one of those things that you can always look back and come up with a better answer from experience, but you can't go back and change it.
Most of the time I feel positive about my service. I think it's mostly because of the therapist I see because that helps a lot...that relationship. Having understanding and family support helps me be much more able to acknowledge the issues and talk about the history and the problems. There are moments though that I wish it would all just go away. It's not really an embarrassment...it's more of frustration that the issues are there and that myself and my family have to deal with them. You know that feeling when you just want one perfectly normal day...one without cluttered or bad thoughts...just one day where nothing goes on like that. But overall, I've grown from completely denying the issues to being able to take the steps to seek treatment, to know that treatment is just part of my life. I think I have grown to the point where I am able to use that, to share that, as an experience to help my fellow Veterans who maybe aren't 'there' yet. I let them know that it's okay to seek treatment, that we have done things that normal people never have to do nor get to do, and we're allowed to find ways to deal with our issues.
I do have issues with insomnia and I take something every night to help me sleep. It doesn't always work. If I don't take it, sometimes I am great at staying up for days on end. I deal with anxiety issues, especially with crowds and unfamiliar situations. I deal with anger, especially with those people who like to push your buttons. Sometimes, pushed the right way, or the wrong way depending on how you look at it, it sometimes triggers that deeper anger. My family agrees though that my anger issues have gotten significantly better...or rather they are less of an issue...less triggered than before.
I feel like PTSD is a weakness in the sense that it shouldn't be happening...that I am better than that. That, with my background and my training and the job that I do, that I should be above
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