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ow-lighted by Rudy Giuliani’s Abbot-and-Costello-
like quip, “The Truth is not the truth” (as in “who’s on First?”), these have not been good days for American English teachers as they go back to the classroom. Be- tween the confusion of what is or is not a double-nega- tive comes the conundrum of the question “what is the truth, and” when is a lie legitimately a lie?
Attorney for the President, Rudy Giuliani is in the midst of this breakdown. With a perpetual grin that re- minds us of Batman’s Joker and Hitler’s Goebbels, Giu- liani has blithely sewn seeds of doubt in the English language on a scale that hasn’t been seen since Shake- speare’s Falstaff or novelist George Orwell’s novel, 1984, where the hero of the book is made to see five-fingers when in truth (What?) only four fingers were being shown.
To make matters worse, we now have a president who collects lies the way little boys used to collect base- ball cards. And all of this madness is headed back to public school in a matter of days.
But not since the so-called “Watergate scandal” and Richard Nixon’s haunting words “I am not a crook,” has the credibility of our American language been weighed so severely, and we’re reminded of film star Jack Nicholson’s comment when he played the part of a Ma- rine sergeant, who during cross-examination, shouted to the prosecutors, “You can’t handle the truth!”
How prophetic his words turned out to be.
Therefore, if it is true that President Trump’s son met with Russians and if it is true that Trump, Jr. and friends did indeed, meet to gain dirt on Hillary Clinton, then is it not also true that what they did was “collu- sion?”
The answer is “Yes.” But is collusion a crime? And suddenly, the answer becomes “Maybe!” By now, any English teacher worth his or her salt is developing a headache. However, there, of course is a greater danger than simply classrooms falling apart. For, a Democracy that cannot explain itself clearly and conscionably is a Democracy that runs the risk of dissolution constitu- tionally. In other words, if you don’t understand the weight of your words then a slight wind can blow them away.
No, the Trump administration is not the creator of this language mischief, but is ably using the concept of language destabilization to utterly hamstring American society from Congress to the classroom. Unfortunately, we may find that our children will be eager learners.
   Maybe The FEDS Should Use Commercials?
   ears ago when
Florida's 10-20-life law went into effect I remember the state placing Billboards on every major roadway ex- plaining exactly what it meant. The message was simple. 10 years mandatory for committing a crime with a gun, 20 years if the gun was discharged and life in prison if a person was shot and killed during the commission of the felony.
The signs were so easy to read and understand that even if you weren't remotely connected with the criminal underworld, you knew what was waiting for those who did decide to take that route. I couldn't tell you the level of overall effectiveness that promotional strategy achieved. But I'm quite sure that, at the very least, it made a few people think twice be- fore using a firearm in a criminal act.
What I never understood, though, was why the federal government couldn't be equally as forthcoming with their criminal codes and pro- cedures? I always believed that, if the feds did inform people of the kind of time they would be facing for committing certain crimes, federal institutions wouldn't be bursting at the seams as they are now.
If I had to estimate I would guess that somewhere in the neighborhood of 90% of the individuals locked up on federal charges probably
never had a clue that their case would go fed. And the charge that seems to surprise people the most when they're served indictments by fed- eral agents is the felon in possession of a firearm. The infamous 922g statute.
I seriously doubt that there's an easier way for an ex-offender to end up back in prison than being caught somewhere in the vicinity of a gun. And, by the same token, I don't think that there's an easier thing for a person to comply with than not having a firearm any- where around him or her if they know it could send them away for a decade or better.
This is why it's so puz- zling to me whenever I run across stories in the paper about convicted felons being caught carrying? This is mainly because every person convicted of a felony is in- formed that their right to bear arms is forever revoked.
So the idea that some ex- offenders continue to handle firesticks makes me assume that they're either unaware of federal prosecutors who are waiting to tear their heads off or are stupid enough to think that they can continue to do so without getting caught? It may be the former. But I'm more in- clined to believe it has every- thing to do with the latter.
The worst part of it all is that, in a large majority of these instances, these indi- viduals are giving the feds all
of this free-time in prison for packing guns they weren't even going to use. Just walk- ing around strapped for the sake of being strapped.
Maybe I'm a little old school when it comes to these sorts of things. But I was always taught that the only time you should have a gun on you is when you plan on making it go BANG! Oth- erwise you're just taking un- necessary chances. And, unfortunately, many of these guys are now finding out that
the chances they weren't worth taking.
took
Of course I know a lot of this gun-toting culture stems from stale street rhetoric like "I'd rather be caught with one than without one" or "I'd rather be judged by twelve than be carried by six." The thing is, as slick as these say- ings may sound coming out of someone's mouth, they tend to lose their weight once a judge slams his or her gavel and ships you off to places like Yazhoo City, Mississippi; Beaumont, Texas; Fort Dix, New Jersey or Edgefield, South Carolina.
Hopefully, it will eventu- ally dawn on some of these individuals that there exist serious consequences for convicted felons who violate gun laws. You can try your hand if you want. But, once they slap it, don't get mad at them for doing what they told you they would do. Just make sure you have enough money on your books for your phone, email and com- missary because, wherever they send you won't be a short stay.
Reality On Ice is © by the Florida Sentinel Bul- letin Publishing Com- pany. You can contact Mr. Barr at: cbar- ronice@gmail.com.
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  C. Blythe Andrews 1901-1977 (1945)
C. Blythe Andrews, Jr. 1930-2010 (1977)
     The Trashing Of American English
    L
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