Page 35 - Florida Sentinel 5-6-22

Health
Wouldn’t it be nice to know if and when you’re being lied to? Unfortunately, most humans aren’t very good at detecting lies. Our natural tendency is to trust others. But while it would be un- realistic to analyze every single
conversation and interaction for signs of deception, there are times when it really is important to get the straight story.
So, whether it’s your spouse, your friend, your business col- league, even a politician, how
can you tell if what someone is saying is less than truthful?
6 Signs of lying:
Experts, including police of- ficers, teachers, psychologists, even the FBI, list the seven below clues as some of the most powerful lie-detectors around:
1. (via text) How they Refer to Themself Changes
It is known that when a per- son is being truthful, they will refer to themselves in first-per- son and subtly proclaim owner- ship of a statement. So when you are reading an email, look to see if the sender is verbally distanc- ing themselves by using less fre- quent singular pronouns like “I”, “me”, or “my”. Verbal distancing is the same as nonverbal dis- tancing– “standing back” from the lie that does not represent their true attitude or experience. Examples of these might look like: “Leaving the garage door open is not what a responsible person would do” vs. “I left the open”
(in person) Their attitude and/or voice changes.
If you know how someone generally sounds or acts (such as they naturally talk fast, etc.), ask them questions you don’t know the answer to. If they abruptly shift from calm to agitated, or even vice versa, they’re probably not telling the truth.
2. (via text) They are More Confident
Another sign of deception is known as the “oath”. This is when a person will try to con- vince you they are not guilty by adding in verbal expressions such as: “I swear”, “cross my heart...”, or “To be honest”. Truth-tellers are more confident in their words and feel that the facts will speak for themselves without having to back their statement up with swearing. If the text or email in question feels a bit off, circle back around and ask questions that can take the topic a bit deeper, this will help with any misunderstandings.
(in person) They give off physical cues.
To help figure out if someone is lying, watch their body lan- guage. Typical clues include
sweating, fidgeting, seeming dis- tracted, or behaving as though they’re nervous or anxious.
3. (via text) Taking longer than usual to text back
If the person you’re corre- sponding with normally doesn’t text in long well-edited passages, this may seem suspicious. He or she might be correcting their message to make it more con- vincing. Be especially aware if you can tell in Apple’s iMessage if someone is typing but they haven’t responded in a longer- than-usual fashion.
(in person) They can’t look you in the eye.
If they won’t or can’t make and maintain eye contact with you, it’s often a sign of deceit.
If they are looking down, or around (specifically to the right side) then you may want to go back over the story.
4. They constantly change details.
Liars’ stories often lack de- tail, so to spot a liar, push them for specifics. The more informa- tion a liar has to provide, the more likely they are to slip and respond in a way that exposes their dishonesty.
5. They tend to be less pleasant.
Liars are not only less coop- erative and friendly than people telling the truth, they also tend to make more negative state- ments and complaints.
6. They seem to have an answer for everything.
Ask most people certain questions, and they have to pause to think about it. So, when someone seems to respond a lit- tle too effortlessly, with zero hes- itation, it points to the possibility of a dishonest, and rehearsed re- sponse.
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