Page 18 - Devlin Funeral Home

For this reason, whether you are planning for yourself or for a loved one, the funeral service or celebration of life is one of the most important elements of the final arrangements. With the opportunity for great personalization, the funeral service or celebration of life can truly reflect the uniqueness of the life it honours. We are lucky to live in a community where life celebration becomes very personal and heartfelt as when we lose one of our community members it affects us all. There are numerous venues and simple to elaborate options for a beautiful service. We at Devlin Funeral Home are available to help each of you plan and fulfill the needs of your family members and friends by using our professional expertise to make each service unique and real.
The Healing Power of Ceremony
Coping with a loss is never easy. Through the years we have witnessed the movement away from the traditional funeral or even a ceremony with a deepening sense of sorrow and foreboding. The generation that is currently nearing death has the misconception that a service is too stressful for their family or that they do not want any fuss or muss when they die. The idea seems to be that since a person can be cremated in a cardboard box, that anything more is a waste of money. The idea that the funeral or celebration has no value has been adopted through society’s movement toward death denial and the misconception that it is too painful for the family to experience.
When a loved one dies whether they are a grandparent, a parent, a husband or wife, a brother or sister, or a friend, the idea that after death they just “disappear” has become a new reality in our current culture. The idea that this is easier on the family is absolutely incorrect. Denial is always easier than reality- however, to determine if this is truly easier on the family we must look beyond the service itself. For example, when a family
member must cope with their grief journey, the first question I would have is “tell me about the funeral.” If there was no service or a minimal private affair it often means that the family has entered their grief closed off from their friends and community. If they start off closed it is very difficult after the fact to open up and face the reality. When a loved one appears to “disappear” and leave an empty place it is much harder to fill this vacancy because of lack of process and proper goodbyes with friends and family to support the journey.
In reading this you may think about a friend or relative in which this circumstance exists. How was your process in understanding the reality of the loss? Can you compare this to a friend or family member who had a Celebration of Life that created community camaraderie and support? How do the two differ and what does it feel like when you think of these loved ones?
Grief experts agree that the funeral or ceremony is a vital tool in the process of grief. When a funeral or service is done right it is vital to the healing of broken hearts. It is simple. If the funeral helps people find healing then it has great value and cannot be denied. A well done funeral or Celebration of Life contains several “needs” or “values” that can be uniquely met to create a healthy grieving process.
The Needs and Values of a Good Service
The Value of Safety
We need permission to grieve. This opinion is held by most grief experts and therapists. It is not always easy to find permission. Often people want to take our grief away and most people have no idea how grief should feel, how we should act or how long it should last. We may end up fighting ourselves because we think we should do better.
Page 18 - Devlin Funeral Home