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Self blame and doubt add to the pain of can get “through it”. This loss is a part of
grief. This can make it difficult to share your life. Be assured, you will not always
with others. Talking about your feelings feel as you do right now. Listen to yourself
or keeping a journal often helps you gain and go forward at your own pace. Don’t
perspective and insight. There are no be surprised when grief shows up again.
right or wrong feelings in grief, there are Just when you think you might be doing
just your feelings. better, you may find yourself crying in the
grocery store or when you hear a specific
Take care of yourself song on the radio. Anger and guilt can
Have compassion and take care of strike anywhere at any time. Forgive
yourself. Eat properly, get enough rest yourself for living when your loved one
and exercise. Grief causes tremendous did not.
stress on your body. It attacks even the
strongest immune system. You may catch Find yourself
more colds, experience headaches or Grief has changed your life completely.
muscle aches. Taking care of yourself is You cannot go back to being who you
more important now than ever before. were. You really don’t ever get “over it”
You might try some deep breathing but you can get “through it”. You can
exercises or relaxation techniques. You learn to live with who you are now. Most
can find relaxation tapes at a library or a bereaved people experience a change
book store. of perspective and discover that their
priorities change. Now is a time to take
Take control a personal inventory and reassess your
It is important at this time to do things beliefs and values. You may find great
that can give you back some sense of comfort in your faith community as you
control. You will be faced with making look for meaning. You will discover new
many decisions regarding your future, strengths and talents. Trust your heart.
both personal and financial. Take time
making major decisions. Begin slowly. Create new routines and rituals
Handle projects in small increments of Develop new routines and patterns as
time. This will help build your confidence you search for the new you. Acknowledge
and prove that you are making progress. the empty chair and move it. Rearrange
your furniture and create a space just for
Put the clothes away when you are ready. you. Exercise at a specific time each day.
Do not let others push you to make Journal and make an entry daily. Daily
decisions you are uncomfortable making. patterns will help you develop your new
identity and find a new normality.
As you are getting your finances in order,
get your other affairs in order to. Change Find ways to remember the life of your
insurance beneficiaries. Check your health loved one daily. You do not have to say
and other insurance policies. Discuss your goodbye. It is important to acknowledge
own funeral arrangements with your family the change in your relationship. You do
and funeral director. Taking care of life’s not stop loving someone just because
“paperwork” can help restore a sense of they have died. You can still maintain a
control and give you peace of mind. relationship in your heart. They are a part
of who you are and who you are becoming.
Be patient with yourself
Grieving takes time. It takes far longer Reach out to others
than anyone expects, particularly you. Learn to ask for what you need. Your
You really don’t ever get “over it” but you family and friends want to help, so let
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