Page 100 - Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results

collaborate and improvise most e ectively have prevailed.” As a result, one

of the deep est human desires is to belong. And this ancient preference exer ts
a power ful in uence on our moder n behavior.
We don’t choose our earliest habits, we imitate them. We follow the script
handed down by our friends and family, our church or school, our local

community and societ y at large. Each of thes e cultures and groups comes
with its own set of expectations and standards—when and whet her to get
married, how many children to have, which holidays to celebrate, how much
money to spend on your child’s birthday party. In many ways, thes e social

norms are the invisible rules that guide your behavior each day. You’re
always keeping them in mind, even if they are at the not top of your mind.
Oen, you follow the habits of your culture without thinking, without
questioning, and somet imes without remember ing. As the French

philosopher Michel de Montaigne wrote, “ e customs and practices of life
in societ y sweep us along.”
Most of the time, going along with the group does not feel like a burden.
Ever yone wants to belong. If you grow up in a family that rewards you for

your chess skills, playing chess will seem like a ver y attractive thing to do. If
you work in a job where ever yone wears expensive suits, then you’ll be
inclined to splurge on one as well. If all of your friends are sharing an inside
joke or using a new phrase, you’ll want to do it, too, so they know that you

“get it.” Behaviors are attractive when they help us t in.
We imitate the habits of three groups in particular :

1. e close.
2. e many.
3. e power ful.

Each group offers an opportunity to leverage the 2nd Law of Behavior

Change and make our habits more attractive.

1. Imitating the Close

Proximity has a power ful e ect on our behavior. is is true of the physical
environment, as we discussed in Chapter 6, but it is also true of the social