Page 73 - 17-39 Jan 20 2020

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The Midlife

Blah ?

By Rifka Schonfeld, Director of S.O.S.
(Strategies For Optimum Success)

ŝƚƐĞůĨ͕ ĂīĞĐƚƐ ŚŽǁ ƐĂƟƐĮĞĚ ĂŶĚ ŐƌĂƚĞĨƵů ǁĞ
feel – or more precisely, how easy it is to
I couldn’t have known that in midlife it is ĨĞĞů ƐĂƟƐĮĞĚ ĂŶĚ ŐƌĂƚĞĨƵů͘
ƉĞƌĨĞĐƚůLJ ŶĂƚƵƌĂů ƚŽ ĨĞĞů ĚŝƐƐĂƟƐĮĞĚ ǁŝƚŚ-
ŽƵƚ ŚĂǀŝŶŐ ĂŶLJƚŚŝŶŐ ƚŽ ďĞ ĚŝƐƐĂƟƐĮĞĚ
about . I couldn’t have known I was enter- Jonathan Rauch, renowned journalist and
ing an adjustment period that occurs not bestseller, writes the above passage in his
only in humans but in chimps and oran- book The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets
gutans, too. I n 2000, when I turned forty, ĞƩĞƌ ŌĞƌ ϱϬ͘ ,Ğ ĚĞƐĐƌŝďĞƐ ƚŚĞ ůŝǀĞƐ ŽĨ
evident of what scholars call the U-shaped ŵƵůƟƉůĞ ƉĞŽƉůĞ ǁŚŽ ĂƌĞ ĚŝƐƐĂƟƐĮĞĚ ĂŶĚ
ůŝĨĞͲƐĂƟƐĨĂĐƟŽŶ ĐƵƌǀĞ ŚĂĚ ŽŶůLJ ũƵƐƚ ďĞŐƵŶ ƵŶŚĂƉƉLJ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ĨŽƌƟĞƐ ĂŶĚ ƚŚĞŶ ĂĐŚŝĞǀĞ
to surface… ŐƌĞĂƚĞƌ ŚĂƉƉŝŶĞƐƐ ŝŶ ƚŚĞŝƌ ĮŌŝĞƐ͘ ,Ğ Ğdž-
plains that there is a happiness curve – a
U-shaped one – that begins with happiness
dŽ ĂŶ ĞdžƚĞŶƚ͕ ƚŚĞ ĞǀŝĚĞŶĐĞ ĐŽŶĮƌŵƐ ǁŚĂƚ in our youth, dips in midlife, and then ris-
we all know: the middle years of adult life ĞƐ ĂŐĂŝŶ ŝŶ ŽƵƌ ĮŌŝĞƐ͘ tŚĂƚ ŝƐ ŝƚ ĂďŽƵƚ ƚŚĞ
ĂƌĞ ŽŌĞŶ ƚŚĞ ŵŽƐƚ ƌĞƐƚůĞƐƐ͕ ƐƚƌĞƐƐĞĚ͕ ĂŶĚ ĂŐĞƐ Žƌ ƚŚĞ ƉĂƐƐĂŐĞ ŽĨ ƟŵĞ ƚŚĂƚ ĂīĞĐƚƐ ŽƵƌ
unhappy. Of course, midlife stress can ŚĂƉƉŝŶĞƐƐ͍ ŶĚ͕ ĂƌĞ ǁĞ ĚĞƐƟŶĞĚ ƚŽ ďĞ ůĞƐƐ
come from the burdens of demanding ŚĂƉƉLJ ŝŶ ŽƵƌ ĨŽƌƟĞƐ Žƌ ĐĂŶ ǁĞ ƐǁŝŶŐ ƚŚĞ
jobs and jammed schedules and teenaged curve in our favor earlier?
kids and aging parents. But here is where
ƚŚĞ ĞǀŝĚĞŶĐĞ ĂŶĚ ƚŚĞ ĐŽŶǀĞŶƟŽŶĂů ǁŝƐ-
dom part ways: the midlife dip in happi- First, let’s examine why people might be
ŶĞƐƐ ƐŚŽǁ ƵƉ ĞǀĞŶ ĂŌĞƌ ĨĂĐƚŽƌŝŶŐ ŽƵƚ ƚŚĞ ŚĂƉƉLJ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ LJŽƵƚŚ͘ ĐĐŽƌĚŝŶŐ ƚŽ ĞĐŽŶŽ-
stresses and strains and ups and downs of mist Hannes Scwandt who Jonathan Rauch
ůŝĨĞ͘ /Ŷ ĨĂĐƚ͕ ŝƚ ƐŚŽǁƐ ƵƉ ĞƐƉĞĐŝĂůůLJ ĂŌĞƌ ĨĂĐ- cite in his book, “When you’re young, you
toring out the stresses and strains and ups don’t really feel so much regret, because
ĂŶĚ ĚŽǁŶƐ ŽĨ ůŝĨĞ͘ dŚĞ ƉĂƐƐĂŐĞ ŽĨ ƟŵĞ͕ ďLJ even if things don’t turn out so well at the

Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has developed a special 6-Week
program to teach your child strategies on how to manage
anger with parents, siblings and friends.
A CALMER CHILD.
A CALMER HOME.
IN JUST 6 WEEKS!
CALL NOW FOR MORE DETAILS.
LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE.
January 20 '21 The Bulletin 718.387.0123 • www.willbulletin.com Y-56