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TRAVEL Glebe Report March 10, 2017 37

Cuba where I was supposed to be an hour

ago. “I must have got it wrong. I am
sorry. Here’s the key. I really think
it’s best if you carry it from now on.”
bound No guarantee, but turning the tables
sometimes works.

ThE bEACh
The beach is the best place to relax,
listen to music and socialize. We were
by rafal Pomian a group of seniors from Ottawa, all
trying to develop coping strategies
ThE PITCh in the taxing tropical sun. Tony and
It was Krysia, our oldest and dearest Teresa threw caution to the wind and
friend, who called us one dreary day exposed themselves shamelessly and
in December and enthused, “You must creamlessly to the sun. “Tony,” I cau-
go to Cuba, it’s fantastic! Here is the tioned. “It’s no good that much sun.
deal.” If you’ve ever met Krysia, you You’ve got to use that UV stuff.” “Blah
would know right away we had no – blah – blah,” he would say. “At my
choice. Oh, we put up a weak fight: we age I don’t give a damn.” He was close
couldn’t really support a Communist to 90. After two weeks, Tony looked
country. It’s.... well it’s undemocratic, coffee brown, and was the healthi-
it’s terribly corrupt and besides it’s est guy around. Now Max and Josie
sort of passé, isn’t it? “Ah,” said Kry- had a different strategy. They would
sia, “but the Cuban brand is different. emerge from their room only when the
They sing and dance all the time, and sun was gone. “We love the sun,” they
they just love Canadians. Besides, the said, “but it doesn’t hurt to be careful.”
temperature is a balmy 30 degrees all Life has a way of throwing you a
the time, especially in January.” We sneaky curve ball. I was mellowing
signed the Cuba deal for two weeks nicely with my Pina Colada when my
in January. wife announced, “Time to get some
shopping done, as we are leaving
ThE PrEP tomorrow.” She knew I hate shop-
What does one need for a couple ping, so she added, “By the way, I
of weeks in the tropics? Not much. Photo: rafal Pomian need some advice on rum.” I couldn’t
A couple of t-shirts, shorts, sandals, refuse. My wife shopped and I lugged
sunglasses and maybe a hat, right? things around, including a few bottles
Wrong. My wife is good at expect- A Glebe couple encounters the many pleasures of Cuba, taken with a grain of sand. of rum. It’s easy to lose count when
ing the worst. What about those cool the price is right.
nights and torrential rains? And did
you know how many lotions and in and being woken up by bird songs tions could bring no end of grief. The hOME
creams compete for your skin care? and sweet aromas of exotic flowers beach bag was filled with towels, hats, Another late-night flight to Montreal
After sifting through a dozen tubes wafting through open windows over- lotions, glasses, books and magazines, and I was tired and beyond caring
and jars, I gave up and let my wife looking a palm-studded beach. First and the one and only room key. Not when we approached customs. “And
take them all. What a relief – we’ll be order of the day was to get another only was there a $50 (US!) deposit how many bottles of alcohol do you
protected from the ravages of sun and room – us and a dozen other guests. on the thing, but a replacement was a have?” gruffly asked a young officer.
wind and anything else the Commies A word about Cuban food: it was bureaucratic hassle. During the entire What a welcome for a decent, law-
might throw at us. plentiful and fruity in our hotel, which vacation, looking after the key was abiding senior arriving back home!
is okay if you like fruit, though it tends critical in maintaining blissful spou- “What is allowed, mon ami,” I mum-
PArADISE GAINED to have undesirable side effects. You sal relations. bled, feigning surprise. He let me go
It was a bone chilling minus 20 are out of luck if you are like me and On one occasion, feeling exception- with a hint of smile, adding “Bien-
when we left Ottawa for our midnight like a crusty piece of toast or cinna- ally relaxed after a few Pinas, I got venue au Canada.” “Merci,” I said,
flight from Montreal. By the time we mon bun for breakfast. But they do a visit from my wife, looking pained. trying not to jingle the bottles in the
arrived in Cuba we were too tired to have very good sugar cane and that “There you are,” she said. “I need the carryall.
see, hear or smell anything. All we means excellent rum and liqueurs. It room key. We were supposed to meet
wanted was to get out of our boots was hard to start the day with a Pina an hour ago and you weren’t there.” Rafal Pomian is a Glebite in search of
and woolens and into bed. The clean Colada, but one has to adjust. “Oh,” I said, trying to remember sunny climes.
comfy beds in the hotel were heaven
and we slept like babes. Alas, we ThE kEy TO hAPPINESS
were rudely awakened at sunrise by The trip to the beach turned out
a machine-gun rattle just outside our to be quite an event. First one had
window. First thought was what the to decide what to wear so as not to
heck are these Commies up to? Turned expose too much flesh to the sun too
out it was a sledgehammer on a con- soon. Next came the sunscreen creams
struction site! They were building new and soothing lotions. Which SPF to
villas. Now my idea of a tropical para- use on the face and which on the legs
dise vacation includes lazily sleeping and arms? A mistake in the calcula- Call for Submissions
Poetry Quarter received so many poems relating to Canada’s 150th birthday that we decided
to publish student poems in the February issue and poems from the wider poetry-writing com-
munity in the May 2017 issue. The invitation to submit on this theme therefore remains open until
the deadline of April 21, 2017. Submissions are open to any poet who reads the Glebe Report and
lives in the National Capital Region.
Poems will be considered only for the particular theme of Poetry Quarter for which they are
submitted and will not generally be retained for future consideration.
Theme: Celebrate Canada’s 150th
Poetry Quarter seeks poems to celebrate 2017, Canada’s sesquicentennial, for the May 2017
ZINN RICHARDSON issue on subjects relevant to the people, history, culture, present and future of the Glebe and its
CONSTRUCTION neighbouring communities.
YOU DREAM IT, WE BUILD IT. Deadline: Friday, April 21, 2017
Eligibility: Poems should be:
Original and unpublished in any medium (no poems submitted elsewhere, please);
No more than 30 lines each;
Additions Professional spaces Exteriors Bathrooms On any aspect of the theme Celebrating Canada’s 2017 sesquicentennial, on subjects relevant
Basements Home Office Kitchens Bedrooms
to the Glebe within the bounds of public discourse; and
VISIT OUR SITE OR CALL NOW! Submitted on or before April 21, 2017.
ZINNRICHARDSON.COM 613-809-5089 Please send your entries (up to 5 poems that meet the criteria) to editor@glebereport.ca before
the deadline of Friday, April 21, 2017. Remember to send us your contact information.