Page 46 - Vision Manual

to make sure your presence is okay in a light way. “Mind if I join you all?” or something similar can be a nice way of easing yourself into the conversation.
 Choose interesting, safe topics
If there isn’t already a conversation going on, it’s okay to start one, but make sure to do so in a way that maintains the conversation. Safe topics include things that generate common interest that is not going to cause argument or people to feel on edge. This can include music, movies, television, books, food, vacations, fun experiences, hobbies and crafts. Things to avoid are politics, religion, and violence, things that you (or the other person/people) are strongly opinionated about, sex, trauma or anything else that is strongly emotional.
 Show interest in what the other person is saying
There are a number of different ways to show interest in other people. First and foremost is to try and make eye contact, or at the very least look at the other person. Eye contact can be a little tricky, so try and match what the other person is showing you. Small things like smiling, nodding of the head, and making small, nonverbal sounds (‘mmmhmm’) can help a person feel heard.
 Ask Questions
Eye contact and showing that you’re listening are good things to do to show interest, but they don’t keep a good conversation going. Oftentimes you will need to keep a conversation moving by asking questions of other people. This will also help you show interest! The best questions are a) relevant to what’s being talked about and b) allow for multiple different answers. A relevant question takes something that someone else says and elaborates on it. So if someone is talking to you about a movie they liked, you might say “What did you like about it?” Or “Are there other movies like it that you enjoyed?” These questions are also good because they allow for more answers than “yes” or “no”. When asking questions about others, try and allow for lots of room for them to answer.
 Avoid telling very personal things about yourself
When we first meet people it can be very tempting to want to share a lot about yourself. You might want to share personal things so that the other person understands you, or to see if they are okay with you. While this is a natural and understandable thing to want to do, it can be stressful or
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