Page 65 - Winter/Spring 2015 Issue

With regards to dating, let me first say if anyone has an issue with another that should be discussed directly with said individual.Openforums insocialmediaareNOTthewaytodoit.Ifyouhaveaproblemwithmenpossiblysexing multiple women then act accordingly. If you want to get your rocks off, by all means go right ahead but be discreet about it. Don't go telling your business then get mad cause you may not have been the only one. You knew what it was, don't trip now. You got what you wanted right? So why are you mad? Don't act brand new because you've got backup, it takes two to tango. That dude you met a couple weeks ago is probably sexing at least one other person despite what he says, you never really know. Not saying that it's right, just the harsh reality like it or not.
I was given some great dating advice by a wonderful woman so I'd like to return the favor. Women often express their displeasure with the state of modern dating; and it seems I have to do some self-reflection of my own when it comes to my personal dating habits, choices, and practices. I believe it's time for ladies to do the same. It's 2015, and honestly I don't understand why women are just sitting around waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep them off their feet. It seems to be some sort of fantasy fairytale women have created or passed down from generation to generation. Oddly enough, it seems to be the one tradition that withstands the test of time even in this new age era of technology.
If you want a job are you just going to wait for it to come to you? No! You're going to work hard to get the job you want, so why should finding a man be any different? God created the reality He desired and he created man (men and women) in His own image. Everyone is responsible for creating their own reality. Men are hunters by nature but we have no idea which prey is the best one to choose. Steve Harvey described it as fishing. Fishing can be fun, relaxing, or even rewarding. Also, there are many ways to fish. One can cast a line and wait for something to bite; jump into the water and spear one; or cast a net catching as many as you can and then select the one you like or which suits your needs best. Men generally choose to either spear fish or cast a net; while women tend to choose the casting method. Casting is complicated. You need to choose the right location, time, season, bait, etc.. All these factors determine the type of fish that will be caught. When it comes to dating I believe the casting method is quickly becoming outdated for women.
Men have such a wide selection of women to choose from, that for most of us it's easy to find someone. Granted they may not be the right one, but, we can always throw them back and select another one from our net. Women in most cases are not afforded the same luxury. I was told that the selection of available men is very small (for various reasons). Men are also visual creatures. So we're naturally going to select women who catch our attention first. Women often complain that “hoochies” seem to have no problem finding a man but respectable women have much more difficulty. Has it ever occurred to you that they're using the right bait to appeal to a man’s senses? I'm not suggesting women should be loose or do what they do, however, if you're not going to go that route then perhaps you should change yours and explore other methods.
Waiting for a man to come and sweep you off your feet is like trying to win the lottery. It is possible to win (someone does every day), but the odds are slim to none. If you really want a man, then get off your pretty and go find one! Intentionally interact with men. If you see something you like actively go after it. Approach a man and initiate conversation. Don’t always wait for him to do it. You never know what's going on in his head. He could be too distracted, unsure, or pre-occupied to approach you. If you want or need suggestions on ways to do so ask another man that you trust for guidance.
Before I get the usual responses of how men are supposed to approach women jazz, first of all, who told you that? Where did you get the idea that's the way things are supposed to be? Show me evidence to support this claim. Yes, throughout history men have traditionally sought women, (which we still do). At one point men could virtually choose any woman because he knew women were willing to become whatever her husband wanted in order to satisfy him. That is no longer the case. Modern women of today are independent, think for themselves, and won't compromise who they are just to make men happy (as it should be).
It's the 21st century, women need to adapt and change with the times just as men have been forced to do. If your grandmother or great grandmother washed clothes on a rock because that was the best way to do it, are you going to do the same? Stop waiting for or expecting some fantasy to come true. Men have fantasies too. I'd like a woman who will cook, clean, shut up when told, give me what I want when I ask etc. Of course there are a few (very few) women who are cool with that but how realistic is it to expect to find one? I'd probably have better luck finding a thousand dollars during a blizzard in April. IJS - By Jamil Taylor

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