Page 40 - The Sandbag Times Issue No:53

MRS FOX GOES TO WAR

Mrs Fox Goes

To War...

The Chronicles of Little Hope

1939 - 1945
The Wartime Diary of Mrs Lavinia Fox

iscovered in two old steamer trunks at Fox Hall rowly avoided blindness and severe concussion respec-
when it was being cleared for demolition in 2016 tively during the course of the last six months.
Dand painstakingly deciphered by myself, with the
help of a far larger quantity of gin than Mrs Fox clearly My next thought was that it'd all gone slightly tits up
quaffed writing the blasted thing, frankly... - Julie and war had been declared overnight after all, we've
Warrington been expecting it now for the best part of a year since
Chamberlain ("nice enough fellow, apart from his rubber
spine," according to Basil who has met him in London
Monday 31st July, 1939 on several occasions) decided to give Hitler the benefit
of the doubt at Munich. Basil, who is not wont to utter
Woke at six o'clock this morning to the most frightful expletives willy-nilly, commented at the time that he
hammering on the front door - a terrible, terrible noise personally "wouldn't give Herr Hitler the steam off of
like the crack of doom or a rather lively morning at my shit!", which quite took me by surprise as I'd only
Verdun. Mr Hirst, the one-legged undertaker with a chip just poured the tea and hadn't quite finished buttering
the size of Belgium on his shoulder couldn't have made his second round of scones.
more of a hullabaloo if he'd been going at it hammer
and tongs with a big bass drum on loan from the Band "Really, Basil!" I remonstrated, giving him The Look of
of the Grenadier Guards, frankly. The man has an enor- Disapproval, "Must you?"
mous stick which he waves around in front of his funer-
al car like a feral drum major at every possible opportu- Basil, assuming that I was referring to the already once-
nity and my first thought on waking was that it was he, cleared contents of his tea plate and the line of crumbs
sent by the Grim Reaper himself perhaps, to enquire he’d marshalled with his napkin, looked a little downcast
whether we’d had any takers overnight. The Sheffield and replied "Perhaps just the one then, old dear," in a
infirmary has done rather well on the back of Mr Hirst somewhat subdued manner, as though I’d just confis-
and his cane, two people I know personally having nar- cated his gas mask and sent him out into a glowing

| 40 www.sandbagtimes.co.uk