Page 11 - 2017-12-16_june_july_2009.qxd
P. 11

What Is The Christmas Story?                                                                                   11






             What is the Christmas

           story? The history behind
           our festive traditions and

                      Santa Claus



                   Continued from Page 9


          The tree


          So who DID suggest cutting down a huge piece
          of shrubbery, dragging it into the house,
          covering it with lights, then sticking a model
          fairy on top? Then leaving it there until it drops
          needles all over the floor.
                 Blame a German. The Romans had hung
          up the odd bit of green branch, but it was
          evangelist Martin Luther from Saxony who first      The top 30 Christmas                       not.
          decorated a whole fir tree.
                 That was in 1510.  The idea finally          cracker jokes of 2016                      15. Why can’t the England football team play
          spread to Britain during Queen Victoria's reign     revealed - and they're                     Yahtzee this Christmas? Because they got rid of
          when her German-born husband Prince Albert                                                     Allardyce.
          had one sent over to remind him of his own                actually funny
          childhood Christmases.                                                                         16. I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent
                                                                                                         calendar. Foiled again.
                 A drawing of the Royals and their
                                                          1. How will Christmas dinner be different after
          children standing around their perfect tree
                                                          Brexit? No Brussels.
          appeared in the Illustrated London News in                                                     17.  Why is Bob Dylan’s sleigh so quiet?
          1846 - and next year there was a rush to copy                                                  Because it has Nobel.
                                                          2.  What do workers at Sports Direct get for
          them.
                                                          Christmas dinner? About five minutes.
                 Artificial trees were invented in the                                                   18.  Why is everyone filing for divorce and
                                                                                                         custody of the kids this Christmas?  Tis the
          1930s, by the Addis Company, who turned them
                                                          3. How do you recognise a Christmas tree from  season to be Jolie.
          out using spare machines in their, er, toilet-
                                                          BHS? All the branches have gone.
          brush factory.
                                                                                                         19. Who might be cooking Christmas dinner at
                                                          4. I bought my mum Mary Berry’s cookbook for
          Cards                                                                                          Number 10 this year? Theresa May.
                                                          Christmas, I tried to get Paul Hollywood’s but
                                                          he’d sold out.                                 20.  Why can’t Mary Berry eat turkey
          Not surprisingly, the custom of sending
                                                                                                         sandwiches? Paul Hollywood took all the bread.
          Christmas cards didn't start until there was a  5. What’s David Cameron’s favourite Christmas
          postal service to deliver them.                 song? All I Want For Christmas is EU.          21.  Why doesn’t Sam  Allardyce help load
                 The first were sent in 1843 by Sir Henry
                                                                                                         Santa’s sleigh? Because it takes him 67 days to
          Cole, boss of the Victoria and Albert Museum.   6. Why has Hillary Clinton asked Santa for a   get the sack.
          He was far too busy to write letters so had an  23-letter alphabet? Because she is sick of F-B-I
          artist design 1,000 cards, illustrated with a
                                                                                                         22. Why did the snowman pull out of Strictly?
          festive family scene on the front and printed   7. Why didn’t Roy Hodgson go to visit Santa at
          with the greeting, "A Merry Christmas and a     the North Pole? He couldn’t get past Iceland .  Because he got cold feet.
          Happy New Year to You".
                                                                                                         23. How do you pay respect to David Bowie this
                 Horrified at being caught out, all his   8. Why are Jeremy Corbyn ’s Christmas cards
          friends sent him one back the next year.        on the floor? His cabinet collapsed .          Xmas? By serving some Ziggy pudding.
                 In 1880 cards had become so popular
                                                                                                         24.  What’s  Tom Hiddleston starring in over
          that the public were warned for the first time to  9. Prince Philip looks out of the window on  Christmas? The Night Manger
          post early for Christmas. A few of them might   Christmas Eve. “That’s some reindeer,” he says.
          still be at the bottom of a mailsack somewhere...  The Queen replies: “63 years. Yes, that is a lot.”  25. What does Nigel Farage do to the hall with
                                                                                                         boughs of holly? He Dexit.
          Tinsel                                          10.  What’s the difference between the
                                                          clementine in your Christmas stocking and      26. What did Tim Peake get in his stocking this
          The first mass-produced Christmas decoration,   Donald  Trump? Nothing, they’re both a little  year? Galaxy and Milky Way.
          it was made in Europe in the 1600s from sheets  orange .
          of silver alloy hammered until they were paper-
                                                                                                         27. Why did Ed Balls fail an audition to play one
          thin and cut into strips.                       11. What do you get if you cross Donald Trump  of Santa’s reindeer in a Christmas pantomime?
                 The idea was to reflect the light from   with a Christmas Carol? O Comb Over  Ye        Because he’s no Dancer.
          candles and fireplaces. Problem - after a few   Faithful.
          Christmases, the silver turned black. A cheaper,
                                                                                                         28. What’s Donald Trump’s favourite type of ice
          throwaway tinsel made from aluminium-based      12. What’s the best advice you can give at the  cream? Wall’s.
          paper swept the festive market in the 1950s.    UKIP Christmas party? Avoid the punch .
          Problem - it went up like a flash when it caught
                                                                                                         29.  Why’s Santa going round the world this
          fire.                                           13.  Why did the three wise men only have      Christmas Eve? He’s playing Pokemon Ho Ho
                 Now we have a modern tinsel made         frankincense and myrrh? Because  Team GB       Ho.
          from PVC that won't discolour and won't burn.   took all the gold .
          Problem - it's toxic and can't be recycled. Over
                                                                                                         30. How do snowmen leave the EU?  They
          to you, Greenpeace... []                        14. Which parent is likely to do the Christmas  trigger Icicle 50. []
                                                          shop at  Tesco this year? Dad might, Marmite
   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   13   14   15   16