Page 40 - 200911 - The 'X' Chronicles newspaper - November 2009

november2009_june_july_2009.qxd 23/11/2009 4:37 PM Page 40 40 Top 10 Conspiracy Theories 40 Top 10 Conspiracy Theories The JFK Assassination their official explanation of the September 11th actually knighting someone else. This is The JFK Assassination attacks." Why had the military failed to because, conspiracy-minded Beatlemaniacs say, intercept the hijacked planes? Had the Paul McCartney secretly died in 1966. Theorists government issued a "stand down" order, to claim the other Beatles covered up his death — minimize interference with a secret plan to hiring someone who looked like him, sang like destroy the buildings and blame it on Islamic him, and had the same jovial personality. But terrorists? In 2005, Popular Mechanics the guilt eventually got to them and they began published a massive investigation of similar hiding clues in their music. In the song claims and responses to them. The reporting "Taxman," George Harrison gave his "advice team found that North American Aerospace for those who die," meaning Paul. The entire Defense Command (NORAD) did not have a Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band history of having fighter jets prepped and ready album was awash with Paul is Dead clues: the to intercept aircraft that had gone off route. And Beatles had formed a "new" band featuring a while it found no evidence the government had fictional member named Billy Shears — This much we can stipulate: President planned the attacks, lack of proof has rarely supposedly, the name of Paul's replacement. John F. Kennedy was assassinated forty-five stopped conspiracy theorists before. The album contained John Lennon's "A Day in years ago this week, on Nov. 22, 1963, struck by the Life," which had the lyrics: "He blew his two bullets — one in the head, one in the neck Area 51 and the Aliens mind out in a car" and the recorded phrase "Paul Area 51 and the Aliens — while riding in an open-topped limo through is dead, miss him, miss him," which only Dealey Plaza in Dallas, Texas. Lee Harvey becomes evident when the song is played Oswald was charged with killing him, and a backwards. Lennon also mumbled "I buried presidential commission headed by U.S. Paul" at the end of "Strawberry Fields Forever" Supreme Court chief justice Earl Warren found (in interviews, Lennon said the phrase was that Oswald acted alone. actually "cranberry sauce" and denied the That conclusion hasn't passed muster existence of any backwards messages). with the public. A 2003 ABC News poll found Paul is Dead believers think the Beatles that 70% of Americans believe Kennedy's death accompanied these backwards tape loops and was the result of a broader plot. The trajectory veiled references to death with album covers of the bullets, some say, didn't square with that illustrated the loss of their friend. The Oswald's perch on the sixth floor of the Texas original cover of 1966's Yesterday and Today School Book Depository. Others suggest a album featured the Beatles posed amid raw second gunman — perhaps on the grassy knoll We may have Tang thanks to the space meat and dismembered doll parts — of Dealey Plaza — participated in the shooting. program, but who gave us such innovations as symbolizing McCartney's gruesome accident. If Others believe in an even broader conspiracy. the stealth plane and kevlar? Aliens, of course. fans placed a mirror in front of the Sergeant Was Kennedy killed by CIA agents acting either Conspiracy theorists believe the remains of Pepper album cover, the words "Lonely Hearts" out of anger over the Bay of Pigs or at the behest crashed UFO spacecraft are stored at Area 51, on the drum logo could be read as: "1 ONE 1 X of Vice President Lyndon Johnson? By KGB an Air Force base about 150 miles from Las HE DIE 1 ONE 1." And of course, there's the operatives? Mobsters mad at Kennedy's brother Vegas, where government scientists reverse Abbey Road cover, on which John, George and for initiating the prosecution of organized crime engineer the aliens' highly advanced Ringo forwent all pretense and pretended to rings? Speculation over one of history's most technology. Fodder for this has come from a cross the street as a funeral procession. John famous political assassinations is such a popular variety of supposed UFO sightings in the area wore all white like a clergyman. Ringo, the parlor game that most people have taken the and testimony from a retired Army colonel who mourner, dressed in black. George donned rumors to heart: just 32% of those polled by says he was given access to extraterrestrial jeans, like a gravedigger. Paul wore no shoes ABC believe Oswald carried out the killing on materials gathered from an alien spacecraft that (he didn't need them because he was dead) and his own. crashed in Roswell, New Mexico. Some also walked out of step with the others. believe the government studies time travel at If Paul is dead, then his imposter is still 9/11 Cover-up Area 51, also known as Groom Lake or at large. He met and married Linda McCartney, 9/11 Cover-up Dreamland. with whom he had four children before losing The government has developed her to breast cancer in 1998. He released a live advanced aircraft and weapons systems at album in 1993 called Paul is Live (likely story), nearby Nellis Air Force Base, including stealth and produced over 20 solo albums — and that's bombers and reconnaissance planes. And the not even counting the ones released by Wings. government's official line — that the details of Then he endured a horrible divorce from Area 51 are classified for purposes of national Heather Mills, which may have made him wish security — are only seen as further proof that he were dead — or at least, were still Billy the military is hiding aliens or alien spacecraft. Shears. So who is the real McCartney? The world may never know. Paul is Dead Paul is Dead Continued on Page 41 Not since the JFK's assassination has there been a national tragedy so heavily imprinted in American minds — or that has given rise to quite as many alternate explanations. While video and photographs of the two planes striking the World Trade Center towers are famous around the world, the sheer profusion of documentary evidence has only provided even more fodder for conspiracy theories. Paul McCartney never wrote "Maybe I'm A May 2006 Zogby poll found that 42% Amazed." He never formed the band Wings. He of Americans believed that the government and never clashed with Yoko, became vegetarian, or the 9/11 commission "concealed or refused to fathered any of his children. When Queen investigate critical evidence that contradicts Elizabeth knighted him in 1997, she was