Page 5 - 201210 - The 'X' Chronicles Newspaper - October 2012

Famous Ghosts in American History Famous Ghosts in 1824 Jackson ran for president against John you REALLY lose a hand! American History Quincy Adams and two other candidates, 6) No one enters the "Squeal Like A Pig" Room garnering the most popular and electoral votes, Continued from Page 5 but not a clear majority; the election was decided by the House of Representatives, which 5) Woman dressed as a witch actually turns the chose Adams. In 1828 Jackson finally won the party's drunk into one of the Budweiser Frogs. On a bleak November day people on Potts' Point saw a fully rigged yet tragic wreck presidency, but he never forgot nor forgave his 4) Everyone uses one of those Monster Eye enemies. Bitterly resentful over his earlier sailing with uncanny accuracy along the unmarked channel. Suddenly the ship came to a defeat, he removed two thousand former office- Straws from Taco Bell to drink from the punch holders, replacing them with his own bowl full stop without benefit of an anchor. A pale appointments. and silent crew lowered an apparently Twenty years after Jackson's death, 3) Instead of "Monster Mash", host decides to unconscious man into a boat, rowed him ashore Mary Todd Lincoln, a devout believer in the play the HANSON CD non-stop and laid him on a rock, his log book beside him. Without even the squeak of an oar-lock, the spirit world, told friends that she'd heard him 2) Several scantily clad women standing by a stomping through the White House corridors ghostly sailors returned to the ship just as a and swearing. Still settling old scores? bedroom door give new meaning to the phrase heavy fog suddenly blanketed the harbor. When it had lifted the ship was gone. The unconscious John and Abigail Adams "Trick or Treat". They're all transvestites! man was soon recognized as George Leverett 1) Roseanne shows up in her Pamela Anderson and it is said that he recovered at least enough to President John Adams and his wife, Abigail, Baywatch costume relate this tale, though he surely never went out were the first occupants of the White House. to sea again. The last sighting of the Sarah was in the During Adams' presidency (1797-1801), the The Top 15 Complaints Of a struggling hamlet built mostly in a swamp. The Modern Day Vampire 1880s on a crystaline summer afternoon. A capital moved from Philadelphia to Washington, guest seated on the piazza of Harpswell House Pennsylvania Avenue was unpaved, and looked seaward toward the horizon in time to frequent rains turned it into a quagmire. see a wondrous vision. A great schooner, under 15) Grunge look makes it tough to tell living full sail, her canvas gilded in the sun, was Although the White House itself was only half from the undead. finished, Mrs. Adams cheerfully tolerated the heading slowly for the harbor. He summoned a noise and confusion of workmen coming and friend, but when they looked again the ship had going. She was as fond of pomp and ceremony 14) Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like vanished. Believers say that the magnificent as Martha Washington had been, and, in spite of crap. wreck and her ghostly crew, weary from the inconveniences, held memorable receptions wandering, had reached home port for the last and dinner parties. Indeed, her invitations were 13) Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on time. your fangs. highly coveted. But one immediate problem presented itself-where to hang the family wash. Dolley Madison 12) Three Words: Daylight Savings Time The White House was inadequately heated, and a number of rooms were cold and damp. Mrs. Dorothy "Dolley" Madison was the wife of Adams finally decided that the East Room was 11) Thanks to all those Marilyn Manson fans, James Madison, the fourth president of the the warmest and driest place in her august we just aren't taken seriously any more. United States. She is known as the woman who turned the new nation's capital at Washington, home, and that's where the clothesline was 10) After 45 years of Communist rule, it's strung. The first lady has never forgotten. The D. C. from a dull swamp into a high-society ghost of Abigail Adams is seen hurrying toward impossible to find clean, uncontaminated social scene. Dolley served as the official White the East Room, with arms out stretched at if Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin. House hostess while her husband served as carrying a load of laundry. She can be Secretary of State. Dorothea Paine "Dolley" recognized by the cap and lace shawl she 9) After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Madison was one of the most popular first favored in life. Elvira. ladies to have presided in the White House. She Although Abigail Adams is the "oldest" was born in 1768 and became the wife and the 8) No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around. young widow of John Todd, a Quaker lawyer of ghost ever to have been encountered at the White House, she is by no means the only Philadelphia. 1794, at the age of twenty-six, she former occupant to occasionally wander its halls 7) With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna married James Madison, who became, in 1809, and great rooms. The home of the American clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits. fourth president of the United States. chief executive has been the site of so much Dolley's wit and charm and her ability to 6) No warm blood for miles around DC. remember faces endeared her to everyone. But intense life it seems only appropriate that from within its walls come stories and legends of she never liked to be crossed, as the legend of presidents and first ladies who linger...after life. 5) Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo her ghost bears out. When the second Mrs. From Classic American Ghost Stories shoots. Woodrow Wilson occupied the White House, edited by Deborah Downer. Copyright 1990 by she ordered gardeners to dig up the familiar 4) Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Rose Garden. They never turned a spade. Deborah Downer. Available for direct purchase Richards from August House Publishers. Contact 1-800- Dolley Madison had planned and built the 284-8784 or order@augusthouse.com for more garden! Her ghost arrived in all her nineteenth 3) Buxom wenches of old have been replaced century to upbraid the workmen for what they information. by aerobicized "hardbodies." were about to do. The men fled. Not a flower was disturbed and Dolley's garden continues to Top 10 Signs You're at a 2) Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey. bloom today as it has for nearly two centuries. Bad Halloween Party And the number 1 complaint of Modern-day Andrew "Old Hickory" Jackson Vampires: 10) Bobbing for Turnips The Rose Room is believed to be one of the 1) No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a most haunted spots in the White House. It 9) A carved watermelon in the window warm body. contains Andrew Jackson's bed, and if we are to believe testimony of those who have felt his 8) Most abused substance: Candy Corn! Another One-Liner: presence, "Old Hickory" himself still dwells in Q: What is Dracula's favorite holiday? his former bed chamber. And well he might. In 7) During game of Poker, when you lose a hand, A: Fangsgiving!