Page 266 - It Ends with Us

I brea the in and out as I try to proces s ev er ythi ng tha t’s ha ppeni ng

ins ide of me right no w.
He looks rea lly good. It’s been so long sinc e I’ve seen hi m, I forgot
ho w bea utiful he is. I ha ve an urge to run down the ha llway and jump
int o hi s arms. I want to feel hi s mouth on mine. I want to hea r hi m
tel l me ho w much he loves me. I want hi m to lie down nex t to me and
put hi s ha nd on my stomach like I’ve imagined hi m doing so many

times .
It would be so ea sy. My life would be so much ea sier right no w if I
would just forgive hi m and take hi m back.
I close my ey es and rep ea t the words my mother said to me. “If R yle
truly loves you, he wouldn ’t al low you to tak e hi m bac k.”
Tha t remi nd er is the onl y thi ng tha t prev ent s me from runni ng
down the ha llway.

• • •

I keep mysel f busy in the kitchen for the nex t ho ur as he rem ains in

the nu rser y. I ev ent ually ha ve to walk past it to grab my pho ne cha rger
from my room. On my way back down the ha llway, I pause at the door
of the nu rser y.
The crib is assembled . He ev en put the bed ding on. He’s stand ing
over it, gripping the railing , staring ins ide the em pty crib. He’s so

quiet and still, he looks like a statue. He’s lost in tho ught and does n’t
ev en no tice me stand ing outside the door way. It makes me wond er
where hi s mind ha s wand ered .
Is he thi nk ing about the baby? The chi ld he won’t ev en be living
with when it sleep s in tha t ver y crib?
Unt il thi s moment , I wasn’t sure if he ev en want ed to be a part of
the baby’s life. But the look on hi s face proves to me tha t he does . I’ve
nev er seen so much sadnes s in one ex pres sion, and I’m no t ev en

facing hi m straight on. I feel like the sadnes s he’s feel ing in thi s
moment ha s absolutel y no thi ng to do with me and ev er ythi ng to do
with tho ught s of hi s chi ld.
He glances up and sees me stand ing in the door way. He pushes off
the crib and sha kes hi msel f out of hi s tranc e. “Fini shed ,” he says,