Page 278 - It Ends with Us

“I’m driving . I’ll call her when we get to the ho spital. And your

mom.”
I no d. I’m sure I could call them right no w, but I kind of just want
to make sure we make it to the ho spital firs t, bec ause it fee ls like thi s
baby is bei ng rea lly impatient and want s to make its deb ut right here
in the car.
We make it to the ho spital, but my cont ractions are les s tha n a

minu te apart when we arri ve. By the time the doctor scrubs in and
they get me to a bed , I’m dilated to a ni ne. It’s onl y fiv e minu tes later
when I’m bei ng told to push. R yle does n’t ev en ha ve a cha nc e to call
any one, it all ha ppens so fast.
I squeez e R yle’s ha nd with ev er y push. At one point , I thi nk about
ho w important the ha nd I’m squeez ing is to hi s career, but he says
no thi ng . He just allows me to squeez e it as ha rd as I possibly can, and

tha t’s ex actly wha t I do.
“The hea d is almost out,” the doctor says. “Just a few more pushes .”
I can’t ev en des cribe the nex t few minu tes . It’s a blur of pain and
hea vy brea thi ng and anx iet y and pure, uneq uivocal el ation. And
pres sure. Such an eno rmous pres sure, like I’m about to implode, and
then, “It’s a girl!” R yle says. “Lily, we ha ve a daught er! ”

I open my ey es and the doctor is ho lding her up. I can onl y make
out the outline of her, bec ause my ey es are full of too many tea rs.
When they lay her on my che st, it’s the absolute grea tes t moment of
my life. I immediatel y touch her red lips and cheek s and fing ers . R yle
cuts the umbilical cord, and when they take her from me to clea n her
up, I feel em pty.
A few minu tes later she’s back on my ches t again, swaddled in a

blank et .
I can do no thi ng but stare at her.
R yle sits on the bed nex t to me and pulls the blank et down around
her chi n so we can get a bet ter look at her face. We count her fing ers
and her toes . She tries to open her ey es and we thi nk it’s the funni es t
thi ng in the world. She yawns and we both smile and fall ev en more in

love with her.
After the last nu rse lea ves the room and we’re fina lly alone, R yle
asks if he can ho ld her. He raises the hea d of my bed to make it ea sier