Page 266 - A Little Life: A Novel

people followed him, not the other way around. Jackson would never let
him go, he realized, and he was frightened. He was someone else’s; he was
owned now. How would he ever become un-owned? How could he ever

return to who he was?
“ ’Sup,” said Jackson, unsurprised to see him, as unsurprised as if he had
willed JB into being.
What could he say? “ ’Sup,” he said.
Then his phone rang: Jude, telling him that all was safe, and he could
come back. “I’ve got to go,” he said, standing, and as he left, Jackson
followed him.

He watched Jude’s expression change as he saw Jackson by his side.
“JB,” he said, calmly, “I’m glad to see you. Are you ready to go?”
“Go where?” he asked, stupidly.
“Back to my place,” said Jude. “You said you’d help me reach that box I
can’t get?”
But he was so confused, still so muddled, that he hadn’t understood.

“What box?”
“The box on the closet shelf that I can’t reach,” Jude said, still ignoring
Jackson. “I need your help; it’s too difficult for me to climb the ladder on
my own.”
He should’ve known, then; Jude never made references to what he
couldn’t do. He was offering him a way out, and he was too stupid to
recognize it.

But Jackson did. “I think your friend wants to get you away from me,” he
told JB, smirking. That was what Jackson always called them, even though
he had met them all before: Your friends. JB’s friends.
Jude looked at him. “You’re right,” he said, still in that calm, steady
voice. “I do.” And then, turning back to him, “JB—won’t you come with
me?”

Oh, he wanted to. But in that moment, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t know
why, not ever, but he couldn’t. He was powerless, so powerless that he
couldn’t even pretend otherwise. “I can’t,” he whispered to Jude.
“JB,” said Jude, and took his arm and pulled him toward the curb, as
Jackson watched them with his stupid, mocking smile. “Come with me. You
don’t have to stay here. Come with me, JB.”
He had started crying then, not loudly, not steadily, but crying

nonetheless. “JB,” Jude said again, his voice low. “Come with me. You