Page 132 - A Woman Is No Man

Sarah froze, and from the look in her eyes, Deya was sure she had
known. “You didn’t think I knew, did you?” Sarah opened her mouth to
speak, but Deya cut her off. “I used to hear him screaming at her in the

middle of the night. I’d hear him hitting her and her crying and trying to
muffle the sound. Growing up, I used to wonder if I’d imagined it. I thought
maybe I was just feeding my own sadness. That’s a disease, you know. I
read about it. There are people who like to be sad, and I used to worry I was
one of them. I thought maybe I was making up a story to try to make sense
of my life.” She met Sarah’s eyes. “But I know that’s not true. I know he
used to hit her.”

“I’m so sorry, Deya,” Sarah said. “I didn’t realize you knew.”
“You said you’d tell me the truth.”
“I want to tell you everything, but it makes sense for us to get to know
each other better first. I wanted to earn your trust.”
“You can’t earn my trust by lying to me.”
“I know,” Sarah said. “I’m sorry. This is hard for me to navigate as well.

I haven’t talked about my family in years.”
Deya shook her head, struggling to keep her voice down. “I have
enough people lying to me. I don’t need your lies, too.”
There was a clock on the opposite wall: it was nearly 2:00 p.m. Deya
stood. “I have to go. My sisters will be waiting for me at the bus stop soon.”
“Wait!” Sarah stood and followed Deya out the door. “Will you come
back?”

Deya didn’t answer. Outside, clouds were gathering, cool air slipping
through her hijab. It seemed as though it was about to rain, and she secured
her jilbab for warmth.
“You have to come back,” Sarah said.
“Why?”
“Because there’s more I need to tell you.”

“So you can lie to me again?”
“No!”
Deya met her eyes. “How do I know you’ll tell me the truth?”
“I promise, I will.” Sarah kept her face blank as she said this, but there
was hesitation in her voice. Sarah wanted to tell her the truth—Deya did not
doubt that. Surely Sarah had decided to be honest when she reached out to
her. Only Deya didn’t believe Sarah would give up the truth so easily. Not

yet. She would have to wait until Sarah was ready. What choice did she