Page 171 - A Woman Is No Man

“You don’t see the point of college?” Khaled was shouting now.
“You’re the first person in this family to go! Adam couldn’t because he was
working to help us pay the bills, Omar couldn’t even get in, and now you’re

saying you don’t see the point of it? Walek, do you know what I would’ve
done for an education?” The room was silent. All Fareeda could hear was
the sound of her own chewing. “I would’ve given an arm and a leg. But
instead I worked like an animal to bring you here, so that you could go to
college! So that you could live the life your mother and I couldn’t have!
And this is how you repay me?”
Ali looked at him with panic. Fareeda knew her children couldn’t

understand what she and Khaled had endured. They weren’t even born
when the Israeli soldiers had come, sweeping them out of their homes like
dust. They knew nothing about life, about how easily everything could be
taken from you.
She reached for another scoop of shakshuka. But what did she know
about life then, either? She was only six years old when the occupation

began. Fareeda could still remember the look on her father’s face as he
surrendered, both hands in the air, when they were forced to evacuate. But it
wasn’t only her family. Tanks had rolled into Ramla to drive out its
inhabitants. Some villagers had been killed as Israeli militia burned their
olive groves. Others had died in the makeshift trenches, trying to protect
their homes. She had always wondered why her family had fled, why they
hadn’t stayed and fought for their land. But her father would always say,

“We had to leave. We never stood a chance.”
“The boy doesn’t like school,” Fareeda said. “We can’t force him.”
“What about all the money we’ve already spent on his tuition?” said
Khaled.
“Didn’t you want sons so badly?” Fareeda shot him a sidelong glance.
“Well, this is what having sons means, paying for things. It’s an investment

in the future of our family. You should’ve known it would be expensive.
Besides, you have Adam to help you out. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
She hoped Adam would understand. Lately he hardly spoke to anyone,
including her. Especially her. At first, she thought he blamed her for Isra,
who was only getting worse, retreating to the basement as soon as her
chores were completed, barely a word to anyone. But now Fareeda was
beginning to wonder if he was mad at her, at them, for all the responsibility

they put on him. She thought back to when he was sixteen, how he would