Page 35 - A Woman Is No Man

Nasser bit the inside of his lip. “Financial security.”
“Money?”
“No, not money.” He paused. “I want to have a stable career and live

comfortably, maybe even retire young.”
She rolled her eyes. “Work, money, same thing.”
“Maybe so,” he said, blushing. “Why, what’s your answer?”
“Nothing.”
“That’s not fair. You have to answer the question. What would make
you happy?”
“Nothing. Nothing would make me happy.”

He blinked at her. “What do you mean, nothing? Surely something must
make you happy.”
She turned to look out the window, feeling his eyes follow her face. “I
don’t believe in happiness.”
“That’s not true. Maybe you just haven’t found it yet.”
“It is true.”

“Is it because—” He stopped. “Do you think it’s because of your
parents?”
She could tell he was trying to meet her eyes, but she kept them fixed
on the window. “No,” she lied. “Not because of them.”
“Then why don’t you believe in happiness?”
He would never understand, even if she tried to explain. She turned to
face him. “I just don’t believe in it, that’s all.”

He looked back at her with a glum expression. She wondered what he
saw, whether he knew that if he opened her up, he would find, right behind
her ribs, only a fist of rot and mud.
“I don’t think you really mean that,” he eventually said, smiling at her.
“You know what I think?”
“What?”

“I think you’re just pretending to see how I’d react. You wanted to see if
I’d make a run for it.”
“Interesting theory.”
“I think it’s true. In fact, I bet you do it often.”
“Do what?”
“Push people away so they won’t hurt you.” She looked away. “It’s
okay. You don’t have to admit it.”

“There’s nothing to admit.”