Page 94 - A Woman Is No Man

difficult?”
Deya looked away. She wanted to stomp around the room, kick the door
and walls, break the glass of the window. She wanted to scream at Fareeda.

I refuse to listen to you! she’d tell her. Not until you tell me the truth about
my parents! But when she drew a breath, the words dissipated. She
understood her grandmother well enough to know she would never admit
the truth. If Deya wanted answers, she would have to find them herself.

The next morning, at the bus stop, Deya made up her mind. She was going
to the bookstore.
“Listen,” she told her sisters as they waited for the bus. “I’m not going
to school today.”

“Where are you going?” Nora asked, eyeing her curiously. Deya could
see Layla and Amal staring at her in disbelief.
“There’s something I have to do.” She felt the tip of the bookstore card
in her jilbab pocket. “Something important.”
“Something like what?” Nora asked.
Deya scrambled for a convincing lie. “I’m going to the library to fill out

college applications.”
“Without Fareeda’s permission?”
“What if you get caught?” Layla said. “Fareeda will kill you.”
“She’s right,” Amal added. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Deya looked away, toward the approaching school bus. “Don’t worry
about me,” she said. “I know what I’m doing.”
Once the bus had disappeared around the corner, Deya plucked the

bookstore card from her pocket and read the address again: 800 Broadway,
New York, NY 10003.
She squinted at the tiny print, realizing for the first time that the
bookstore wasn’t in Brooklyn, it was in Manhattan. A mixture of panic and
nausea rose inside her. She’d only been to Manhattan a handful of times,
always in the back seat of Khaled’s car. How was she supposed to get there

on her own? She took a deep breath. She’d have to ask for directions just as
she’d planned. Nothing had changed. She walked to the nearest subway
station on Bay Ridge Avenue and descended the dark steps, her heart
pounding furiously, beat-beat-beat. The station was crowded with strange
faces, and for a moment Deya wanted to turn around and run home. She
froze, watching the people push past her, listening to the beeping sounds