Page 88 - I Live in the Slums: Stories (The Margellos World Republic of Letters)

Ayuan headed absentmindedly toward his workplace. When he had almost
arrived, he suddenly started thinking more clearly. He shouted, “That was the
swamp!”
He finally understood: the swamp is anywhere you want it to be. But wasn’t
this too scary? If his life had come to this, was this what he had been hoping for
earlier?
Ayuan ate some noodles at the noodle shop in front of his workplace. He was
a little uneasy. After eating, he went into the empty shed for a nap. No one else
was in the shed. As Ayuan lay in bed, he recalled Uncle Sang and the red-garbed
bride. Were they frequent visitors in the swamp? He thought that the swamp

where they (including the mountain people) had been must really be an
extraordinary place—much different from what he had just experienced. He had
no way to go to the genuine swamp. All he could do was go through nooks and
crannies in the city to acquire a sense of it. He wasn’t sure, however, that anyone
had actually been to the extraordinary place in his imagination. Ayuan fell asleep
while thinking of these illusions.
When it turned dark, he was awakened by the noise of the other workers.
Seeing that he was up, they approached him and asked, “Didn’t you notice the
two thieves? They dug a deep hole next to the shed. They jumped in and
disappeared. That’s when we discovered that they had stolen some of our
things.”
“Were the thieves short?” Ayuan asked.
“They were small and dark.”
Ayuan walked outside the shed and saw the deep hole. He stood there for a
while, knowing that he lacked the courage to jump in. Even if this pit had been
dug for him, he wouldn’t dare jump. He had exhausted his courage in the

daytime. Feeling cold, he left at once.

Uncle Sang, who had been missing for a long time, reappeared. He caught up
with Ayuan on the main road and shouted, “Ayuan, you failed to meet their
expectations!”
“Who?” Ayuan asked.
“Your guides! Without them, you could’ve gone nowhere.”

Uncle Sang looked sad, and then all at once he looked as if he’d lost his
bearings.
Ayuan thought to himself, I lost my best opportunity. Every day, he saw the
deep hole next to the shed, avoiding drawing too close to it. One day, when he
went back to the shed after work, he saw that the hole had been filled in. No
trace of it remained on the ground. Grass was even growing on that piece of