Page 451 - A Little Life: A Novel

illogical and maybe a tiny bit self-involved, but it wouldn’t be truthful if he
didn’t tell Willem that part of him was miffed that Willem had picked Jude
and not him.

“JB,” he said, again and again, “it was very organic. I didn’t tell you
because I needed time to figure it out in my own head. And as for being
attracted to you, what can I say? I’m not. And you aren’t attracted to me,
either! We made out once, remember? You said it was a huge turnoff for
you, remember?”
JB ignored all this, however. “I still don’t understand why you told
Malcolm and Richard first,” he said, sullenly, to which Willem had no

response. “Anyway,” JB said, after a silence, “I really am happy for you
two. I am.”
He sighed. “Thank you, JB,” he said. “That means a lot.” They were both
quiet again.
“JB,” said Jude, coming out of his study, looking surprised that JB was
still there. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

“What’re you having?”
“Cod. And I’ll roast some potatoes the way you like them.”
“I guess,” JB said, sulkily, and Willem grinned at Jude over JB’s head.
He joined Jude in the kitchen and began making a salad, and JB slumped
to the dining-room table and started flipping through a novel Jude had left
there. “I read this,” he called over to him. “Do you want to know what
happens in the end?”

“No, JB,” said Jude. “I’m only halfway through.”
“The minister character dies after all.”
“JB!”
After that, JB’s mood seemed to improve. Even his final salvos were
somewhat listless, as if he were delivering them out of obligation rather
than true depth of feeling. “In ten years, I’ll bet you two will have made the

full transition to lesbiandom. I predict cats,” was one, and “Watching you
two in the kitchen is like watching a slightly more racially ambiguous
version of that John Currin painting. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Look it up,” was another.
“Are you going to come out or keep it quiet?” JB asked over dinner.
“I’m not sending out a press release, if that’s what you mean,” Willem
said. “But I’m not going to hide it, either.”