Page 81 - A Little Life: A Novel

“Willem,” said Jude, surprised, and there was a silence. “That’s not what
I meant.”
“I know,” he said. “Sorry. I know.” He took a deep breath. “Even if we

were to do this, though—and I don’t think we should—how would we even
lower you down?”
Jude walked to the edge of the roof, which was bordered on each side by
a flat-topped shin-high wall, and peered over it. “I’ll sit on the wall looking
out, directly above the fire escape,” he said. “Then you and JB should both
sit by it. Each of you hold one of my hands with both of your own, and then
you’ll lower me down. Once you can’t reach anymore, you’ll let go and I’ll

drop the rest of the way.”
He laughed, it was so risky and dumb. “And if we did this, how would
you reach the bedroom window?”
Jude looked at him. “You’re going to have to trust I can do it.”
“This is stupid.”
JB stopped him. “This is the only plan, Willem. It’s fucking freezing out

here.”
And it was; only his rage was keeping him warm. “Have you not noticed
his whole fucking arm is completely bandaged up, JB?”
“But I’m fine, Willem,” said Jude, before JB could respond.
It was ten more minutes of the two of them bickering until Jude finally
marched back over to the edge. “If you won’t help me, Willem, Malcolm
will,” he said, although Malcolm looked terrified as well.

“No,” he said, “I will.” And so he and JB knelt and pressed themselves
against the wall, each holding one of Jude’s hands with both of their own.
By now it was so cold that he could barely feel his fingers close around
Jude’s palm. He had Jude’s left hand, and all he could sense anyway was its
cushion of gauze. As he squeezed it, an image of Andy’s face floated before
him, and he was sick with guilt.

Jude pushed off the side of the ledge, and Malcolm gave a little moan
that ended in a squeak. Willem and JB leaned over as far as they could, until
they were in danger of tipping over the edge themselves, and when Jude
called to them to let go, they did, and watched him land in a clatter on the
slat-floored fire escape beneath them.
JB cheered, and Willem wanted to smack him. “I’m fine!” Jude shouted
up to them, and waved his bandaged hand in the air like a flag, before

moving over to the edge of the fire escape, where he pulled himself up onto