Page 52 - VE Magazine - Issue 42

We had already done a lot of building and decorating so it was agreed that, if we went ahead and bought the bits, we would chip away at a steady pace and finish it when we finish it.
Sketches were sketched, quatrefoil win- dows were compared to gothic mullioned windows, and quoined arches to gothic arches – and ‘Quoined and Mullioned’ were looked up in the dictionary. It was fun to design and the result would surely fit per- fectly in our garden. We live in an old stone gate lodge amid the very fields that Harold got one in the eye during the Battle of Hast- ings so, after a little time has passed for the moss to grow and perhaps encouraged by a fervent imagination, our Arrow Cross window could be believed as the very place from which William the Conqueror’s arrow flew.
We unpacked the pallets and laid out the ‘ancient stone’ components under the trees so they would weather even more while we prepared the site (was this pile of rubble really the same price as a four year old Ford Focus?). We borrowed a friend’s digger but had barely scratched the ground before another catalogue hit the table: Gar- den ponds.
So, the hole was dug and the pond fitted; the strip footings were poured and upwards we were about to go, so it was getting interesting. Then another catalogue arrived: Fireplaces.
After the initial dismay at the increasing task ahead I could only agree that an out- door fireplace would actually be an amazing idea and would transform a fancy garden wall into a proper thing; an outdoor room. The potential was obvious, in fact why didn’t we think about it earlier? The Priory fireplace was chosen and this time the value of the small pallet of cast concrete only equated to that of a perfectly decent seventies motorcycle!
Once we start a project we tend to crack on with it and, and despite the original plan to progress at a manageable pace,
the cement mixer was always spinning just seconds after pulling up from work in the evening and the car/bike only put away after at least a full barrow of mortar was finished and tools were cleaned – which was always done in the pitch black using a head torch. We chose sandstone for the walls in order to match the house, rather than reclaimed bricks, and the random shape and wildly different sizes made them particularly awk- ward to lay. It also made them particularly greedy for mortar but, despite this, progress was reasonable and we looked forward to adding each next feature. This was fortun- ate because we were barely half way through the project when Julie broke the news that her regular Book Club meeting was due to convene at our house in six weeks time and she had excitedly promised the girls they would be outside in the new folly.
It wasn’t ideal but, to be honest, other tasks were suffering because of this project so there was a benefit to introduce a dead- line and get it finished.
The big details such as the top of the arch were particularly rewarding to stand back and view when fitted, but too heavy for us to manhandle into place. For these elements we had to think like the ancient Egyptians and outwit the awkwardness and mass with physics. In our case, this meant
Alas poor Yorrick, in the shrubbery
52 / October-November 2018 / ve
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