Page 53 - Bondage Basics: Naughty Knots and Risque Restraints

Dos and Don’ts Remember: Consent Is Always Key

The biggest two rules in any playtime should be DON’T be an asshole and DO be safe, but
in reality, there are a few more things to think about when exploring rope bondage. Consent is affirmative permission given in sound mind.
Read that twice, write it out, and then read it once more. Say it out loud. Without consent,
DON’T: there can be no play. Consent is not received by bullying and coercing a partner into letting
• EVER leave someone in bondage alone. you do something that you know they don’t want to do, whether or not they eventually

• Let rope cut into the body. nod to avoid your constant haranguing or whining. Consent is not given by someone who’s
drunk out of their mind or high as a kite. Consent is not given if you ignore someone’s safe
• Make ties too tight.
word, or if you simply forgot to bring something up in negotiation and go ahead with it
• Tie rope, cord, or anything else around the throat.
anyway. Without consent, it is abuse.
• Buy anything that you won’t be comfortable cutting off someone in an emergency.
• Approach hard limits. Ever. If you are feeling coerced in the middle of play with things that you previously agreed
to, you can simply withdraw your consent by saying “red” and “I don’t want to continue,
• Drink or take drugs before playtime.
please.” It is as simple as that, and your partner will respect it.
• Play with a partner who you don’t trust 100%.

• Ignore someone’s discomfort. RACK is the code of conduct in the BDSM/bondage world, and for good reason. The most
• Coerce partners into doing something outside of their comfort zone. beautiful feeling in bondage is when you can give yourself over to another person truly and
utterly, safe in the knowledge that you will be looked after, ravished, and allowed to give
DO: in to all your deepest, darkest desires. For us tops, the best thing about kink is to watch a

• Know the health history, sexual and otherwise, of any play partners. sub’s big eyes look up to you, as the trust shines through even when you’re flogging a pair
of nice thick buttocks or immobilizing someone’s delicious flesh underneath your harsh
• Warm up before a scene (your muscles AND your dirty mind).
tape. None of this can be achieved unless consent is front and center of a scene.
• Always have EMT shears, seatbelt cutters, bolt cutters, and first-aid equipment nearby.
• Check for CSM throughout a bondage scene. They say that with great power comes great responsibility, and whether your power lies
• Engage in good negotiation and communication before, during, and after a session. in your role as a dominant or in your ability to give yourself up to someone totally, the
responsibility that comes with that is to ensure you’re a great conduit for the message that
• Approach soft limits with caution.
consent is key. Don’t play with anyone who doesn’t value explicit consent, and step in and
• Be clean and sanitary.
stop a scene when you believe that one person is abusing another by stepping over set
• Practice safe sex. boundaries. Teach by example, and you’ll be rewarded with dozens of writhing, squirming
• Set a safe word. kinksters all lining up to play with you. Who said the good guys never get to have any fun?

• Ensure that bondage takes place in a fun, comfortable, and honest environment,
in which everyone can let his or her most kinky fantasies fly.
• Have fun playing, but take safety seriously.

52 Bondage Basics Communication and Safety 53

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