Page 11 - 10 Stage Detailed Evaluation 2024 2025

RESPONDING IN THE MOMENT: CALM, CONNECT, SUPPORT FOLLOW UP: COACHING CONVERSATIONS

Adults do not respond in an emotional way or say negative things to a child. When following up, adults do not start by telling the child their own concerns – adults always find out
the child’s point of view and how it is for them first. Adults know that this is important as it helps a child
Adults do not use unkind, angry or irritable tones when speaking with children.
to feel listened to and understood and helps them to stay regulated, their prefrontal cortex activated and
Adults do not talk, look or act in ways towards children in ways that are threatening, angry or irritated. Adults have able to hear the adult’s concerns without having an emotional response.
developed the skills and strategies to stay calm and react in a kind and matter-of-fact way.
Adults do not preach, lecture, criticise, ‘tell off’, interrupt, embarrass or shame. Adults know all of these
One would not hear adults saying: “Well, I can’t believe he gets rewarded for being so naughty by having a lovely ways of sorting things are not effective in helping the child to feel better and do better and can have a
time with Mrs Barnard.” very negative impact on the child’s self-esteem and identity over time (which in turn is likely to lead to
worsening behaviours).
If there was any indication that a child was saying or doing unhelpful things to get positive attention and feel they
are liked and count, adults would address that and support the child to fill their need for attention in more helpful Adults work hard not to fall into powerless positions such as blaming, shaming, bribing, sweeping concerns
ways. away or threatening the child. Adults try hard to stay empowered and coach or challenge/negotiate
positively – determined to support the child in doing better next time.
When planning any additional support for a child, adults make sure there is a ‘Pathway to Independence’ planned
so that child works towards being able to feel good and do well without the extra scaffold. Adults know by doing Although it sounds as if all of this will take lots of time and time is very limited, adults know that it will
so, that they will help the child feel capable and prevent them from becoming dependent on adults and extra help save huge amounts of time in the future for everyone.
or scaffolds.