Page 10 - 15 STAGE AUDIT FOR SCHOOL EVALUATION

RESPONDING IN THE MOMENT: CALM, CONNECT, SUPPORT FOLLOW UP: COACHING CONVERSATIONS

Adults always model the emotional regulation we want children to learn and show. Adults follow-up consistently so that children are held to account firmly, yet with a spirit of kindness.
Like a great paramedic, adults do everything they can to help a child get back on track. That is always their
There is a clear procedure in the school which adults always follow so that when a child does not keep to
main focus when a child is not meeting the expectations agreed. Adults leave it until later to work on
unpicking what’s behind the behaviour. Adults know that problem solving, working out needs and improving expectations, adults always follow up with a coaching conversation.
skills all comes at a later stage during follow-up – there’s rarely time to do that in a busy classroom. Adults always start the coaching conversation by exploring what’s going on for the child.
Adults get a good balance of being definite and certain (insistent, persistent) about what helps everyone to Adults start with phrases such as “I noticed…what’s up?”, Or “What happens for you when…”Adults give the child
feel safe, happy and learn yet also being kind supportive of the child when they don’t manage expectations:
time to really process the question and think through an answer. Adults talk in a kind, non-judgemental way.
▪ Adults talk to children in supportive, kind ways when they struggle. If the child replies, “I don’t know”, adults encourage the child to have a think and ask further open questions.
▪ Adults get to the child’s level, sitting next to them rather than standing over or in front of them.
▪ Adults say things like: “It can be tough when we’re asked to do things that we don’t enjoy or find so Adults sometimes use the needs cards to help the child work out what might be the issue. If the child is unable to
interesting ….” pin-point the issues, adults may make suggestions using language such as: “I wonder if ….”
If the child is relatively calm, adults may ask: “What could help this be a bit better for you right now so you Once both are really sure what was going on for the child – the unmet 5C needs and missing EF skills, adults
can do well and it is good for you and everyone else?” summarise these whilst showing the cards. Adults write them in bullet points on the Coaching Conversation slip.
Adults do this because they know the child may struggle to hold the information due a poor working memory.
If the child isn’t calm, adults would be seen to ‘scoop, divert, substitute’ – with positive tones, diverting the
child to a task which will help them to regulate as quickly as possible. Once they are sure about the child’s needs and unmet skills, adults explain how things were for them and anyone
else around when the issue happened, again using non-judgemental language. Adults use the ‘Speak Up 4 Better’
When support doesn’t work, adults give the child a choice of places to go to become calm and feel good.
tool, using the visual cue card as they do so the child gets familiar with it too.
These options of a place to go to calm would be given positively – not as a threat or punishment. The child
would be given this choice because adults understand that helping a deregulated child maintain a sense of When adults are saying what was not ok for them or for others around them, they try to link their concerns to
control over what is happening to them is important: adults understand that if what we say/do leads them to NEEDS – E.g. The thing for me is …. when people are talking when I am explaining things, I don’t feel listened to or
feel less in control, this may further drive them to seek control in unhelpful ways and lead to further that I count. I worry the class will not learn so well and then not feel so capable in their learning – and that makes
deregulation. Adults make sure all children in the class / group understand this too so they don’t think me feel less capable too. They then say what would be better for them. Adults point to the relevant 5C need as
unhelpful behaviours are a good thing or the way staff are dealing with them is unfair for them. they explain. Adults then add this as bullet points to the Coaching Conversation slip E.g. ‘For it to be quiet when I
am speaking so I feel capable and the class will too’, adding them to written bullet points in a separate column.
Adults do not view a child being able to go somewhere pleasant when they are deregulated as a ‘treat for
bad behaviour’ because adults know this is what is best for them in the long-term. Adults also keep really Once the child’s needs and my/other people’s needs are identified, adults encourage the child to think of ways to
high expectations by always following-up so the child knows how important it is we all work hard to help him solve the problem in a way that meets everyone’s needs.
or her to build the skills to manage better.
Adults make sure the child and adults work out a plan to make sure s/he is not put in exactly the same
Adults focus not just on keeping the class calm and orderly for now but also on helping children make long situation before s/he has the skills to manage E.g. On the football pitch with all the others or in assembly in
term progress so they can do well independently. This means that, even though adults may have to do a amongst the class. They work out the right scaffolds and strategies with the child so s/he finds it easier to manage
short-term fix, the issues that are stopping them from doing well would be tackled in follow-up and adults until skills are built.
would work with them to create a pathway to independence so they can increasingly manage on their own.
Adults make it clear that the solutions agreed may not work first time and they will need to meet again to see
Adults also make sure that repair time is held so that making amends for anyone disadvantaged by the how well things are working and may need to problem-solve again. Before the child goes, they agree a definite
child’s behaviour is taken seriously. Adults wouldn’t put the child back in the same position to disadvantage time to meet again to make sure it definitely happens – adults know this review is really important.
those people again unless something different was in place or the child had developed the skills to manage.