Page 34 - The Changing Chances Strength Based Approach to Control Centre Skills (Executive Function Skills) MASTER 2020

It’s not so good to be a Changeable Chimp when:

▪ You get angry and show it in a way that makes it a rotten atmosphere for everyone in the
room

▪ You are singing and dancing loudly and everyone else is trying to sleep

▪ Something happens that upsets you and you stay upset for hours and don’t get anything
else done and get behind on work.

Changeable Chimps aren’t so great when there’s an emergency or a problem which needs calm,
focused, deliberate thought. At those times, emotional regulation is crucial and a Steady Swan is
much more helpful.

Sometimes, people are told they have ‘anger management’ problems when in fact they just find it
difficult to regulate any kind of emotion or energy. It is a skill you can get better at – so it doesn’t
have to be a problem anyone has forever!

Why are some people not so good at the skill of emotional and energy regulation and
other people are great at it? It’s partly related to how resilient or vulnerable we are.

Resilience

In looking at why some people can manage big feelings better than others, we first need to
look at how resilient or vulnerable a person is.

When things get tough, do you bend, or do you break?

Either way, it’s not your fault – but it’s important to know so you can do
something about it.

Some people are better at managing stressors than other people. They can:

▪ Stay in control when bad things happen.
▪ Bounce back to feeling ok quite quickly after bad experiences
▪ Solve problems
▪ Forgive people when they do something hurtful or unfair
▪ Adapt to new situations easily.

We can call people like this ‘resilient’ or ‘resourceful’. Being able to manage big feelings when
things go wrong is one part of being resilient.

Other people find it more difficult to manage stressors. They may:

▪ Have big reactions, even when small things happen
▪ Stay feeling bad for a long time after something bad has happened.
▪ Find it hard to let go of arguments and be unsure how to sort things out.

This can be described as being ‘vulnerable’.

There are lots of reasons some people may be more resilient and resourceful and other people are
more vulnerable.

34