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EditorialsHow About It, Mr. Cuite and Mr. Golden?The latest chapter in the saga of the missing Community Boardwas writ last week when Community Board Six, made up ofrepresentatives of Park Slope, Carroll Gardens, and Cobble Hill andRed Hook managed to finally hold a meeting in their thirdsuccessive try since September. Even after the public attentionfocused on the Board%u2019s chronic attendance problems, a third of themembers failed to show up%u2014perhaps out of embarrassment, ormay be because of the same old case of boredom flu.Last week in this space we spoke about the responsibilities ofthe volunteer members of these boards to participate in thecommunity planning and renewal and betterment functions thecommunity boards are empowered to pursue. We also talked aboutthe responsibility of the elected public officials who have appointedthe members to serve and we suggested that the officials examinethe failure of their appointees to perform their duties, removing or%u201cretiring%u201d those who simply don't seem to care. The inability ofmore than the bare minimum of members to attend a routinemeeting even after all the attention focused on this body suggeststhat action to house-clean the membership of Community Board Sixis now clearly required. How about it, Mr. Cuite and Mr. Golden?Coping by Judy LinscofttNot to Be Confused with Food for ThoughtA few words about food.First, an assumption: there are no profound thoughts about food. There%u2019s filler and bulk. Sweet nothings and sour grapes. As a nation, we%u2019re so consumed with the subject, we can%u2019t get our thoughts straight.Why does everybody talk about it, think about it, read about it, write about it? Because everybody wants to be eating it, that%u2019s why, and they%u2019re not. Animals eat what they need and need what they eat (except for dogs, which we train to want %u201ctreats%u201d and other abominations they never knew they needed). We, on the other hand, do everything but what we%u2019d like to do, which is eat. This causes problems.We get nasty. We pick on the people who do what we%u2019d really like to do. Fat people have a hard time of it in this world. And then they pick on themselves. We like that. They deserve it. See what I mean? We%u2019re sick. We%u2019re confused.So instead of eating food, we work it into our politics, language, imagery and arts. We%u2019re a nation undergoing a constant behavior modification.So, some random thoughts on food. Not to be confused with food for thought.,.Food as political weapons: as in, say Richard Nixon and others making a career of putting priorities that count %u201con the back burner.%u201d Cottage cheese with ketchup was one I dearly loved until it became public that RN himself shared my proclivity. Naturally, I had to give it up.Mothers have long used food as political weapon, as in %u201c eat, eat.%u201d Fathers have used it, as in %u201cyour mother says eat, so eat.%u201d Fathers use it against mothers: %u201cWhaaat, sandwiches again?%u201d Mothers use it against fathers: %u201c If ya hadda good job, we%u2019d be eatin%u2019 steak.%u201d Kids use it against both, as in refusing to eat. We have long used it against our Third World friends, as in, %u201cThey%u2019re starving in India, and you won%u2019t eat?%u201d Kids learn political realities: So OK, send the spinach to them.Meanwhile, men and women seem to be having a crisis of conscience over who%u2019s bringing home the bacon. And why is it that when two people are out there slaughtering, the man brings home the bacon and the woman brings home the summer vacation?Women have always had the raw deal. Look at our choices: We%u2019re a tart and tastydish, or sugarplum and sweetie pie. (Men, on the other hand, get to be non-committal good eggs. Even a turkey is better than a tart.) It all started with Eve and the unfortunate apple, and while men were out there in the study creating new female food fantasies, the women were in the kitchen, creating food for those fantastic thoughts. (Men, of course, would say we were stirrinp un trouble.)Contrary to popular notion, men have long had their cake and eaten it too%u2014women were just the icing. While they were %u201cout there%u201d chewing the fat, rationalizing that too many cooks spoil the broth, women knew that men just can%u2019t stand the heat, which is why they got out of the kitchen. Unfortunately, women historically have both endorsed the notion that half a loaf is better than none, and stoically resisted crying over spilled milk. All this may be pragmatic, but not ideologicallysound, which leaves us today floundering in a veritable kettle of fish.Now if only women would stop cooking and start eating. Then they wouldn%u2019t compensate for not eating by overeating. Then they wouldn%u2019t always be on diets, which is boring. But then they wouldn%u2019t subsidize the diet industry.Which leads us to food as big business. One of the biggest businesses in food is how to live without it. How to forget it. How to stop thinking about it, talking about it, reading about it. There are many books on this subject. They all cost a lot of money. There are people who have whole libraries on the subject (see above).Then there are the people who make the food for the people who want to eat the food but are afraid to. (At this point, who can blame them?) We are talking about pretend food like skimmed milk, Tab, carrot sticks and those little sugarlesscandies that taste like someone forgot to put the sugar in. Also that powder stuff that when dumped into skimmed milk and stirred around supposedly turns into a chocolate milk shake. It doesn%u2019t; take my word for it. These pretend foods are disgusting facsimiles that deserve less credit than food as knickknacks.Food as knickknacks: Think of all the strawberry pins you%u2019ve seen on the lapels of people without, ahem, taste. Or of all the candles in the shape of eggs, hamburgers or strawberry sundaes. Fountain pens masquerading as candy canes. Soup cans masquerading as paintings. Transistor radios in the shape of pumpkins. Who%u2019s trying to fool whom here? What the hell is wrong with a transistor radio that it has to look like a pumpkin?Speaking of pumpkins, why is it that holidays and other social occasions always revolve around food? It is sad commentaryon the demise of the American family that the best we can do for one another is sit around and stuff ourselves with turkey and pie in order to give thanks for the abundance we are now about to argue over, feel guilty about, manipulate with, and attempt to undo the effects of.First, we talk about the food. Then we make the food. Then we eat the food, while we continue talking about the food. Then we clean up the food. Then we groan and moan about how awful we feel about having eaten too much of the food. Then we say goodbye and how wonderful the food was.Then we don%u2019t eat for three weeks.Speaking of not eating for three weeks and other forms of fanaticism: we often seem to treat food like a woman%u2014as either salvation or damnation. On the one hand, food causes tooth decay, cancer, heart attacks, obesity and violence. God knowspreservatives will be the death of us all and refined sugar, if it doesn't cause sterility, surely explains why Johnny can%u2019t read. On the other hand, wheat germ, yogurt, natural peanut butter and fiber are the panaceas of the seventies and if you%u2019ve been getting up in a bad mood of late, your trouble probably is that you%u2019re not consuming enough long grain brown rice.Food draws fanatics, so to speak, like flies to honey.Speaking of honey, there%u2019s that nasty business of food and love. We%u2019re not only sick, we%u2019re a nation of hypocrites. Terms of endearment and plenty of tricks, as in the seductive dinner for two. Why not be practical, cut down on the work load and seduce with logic (or cash?). Why%u2014 speaking of panaceas%u2014are aphrodisiacs always food? When, to paraphrase a boorish little rhyme, a bottle of wine is cheaper and will do the trick. Without scrounging around for some exotic fish or other, available only in East Afganhastan.Speaking of tricks, think of all the tricks performed in life for food. Seals do it. Dogs do it. Kids do it. Kids, in fact, do food tricks for food, as in, eat your spinach and you can have dessert. We learn tricks with food: Johnny has six apples and gives Mary three. How many apples does Johnny have left now? Who cares?We throw whipped cream pies in people%u2019s faces. This is a sort-of trick that is also supposed to be a joke. The pie-in-theface joke is not unlike the slipping-on-thebanana peel joke. Neither of them are all that intrinsically funny and they always get a laugh. There are many, many food jokes that are not funny. On the other hand, there is a very funny thing that you can do with cooked whole baby onions that I am not going to explain. It loses its humor in translation.Speaking of translation, fine food and clear thought do not, as they say, go together like soup and sandwich. More like love and marriage%u2014there%u2019s a connection, but it doesn%u2019t necessarily make sense. We can%u2019t live with it, can%u2019t live without it.We%u2019re like Jerry Ford eating his infamous tamale along with the corn husk covering. Well intentioned, but definitely confused.%u2018One of the biggest businesses in food is how tolive without it. How to forget it. How to stopthinking about it, talking about it, reading aboutit.%u20191n 1In9 Hm Ely wwln%u00abr ill ip %u00aeilS IS* fgSAYS H%u20acR6 EACH WINTER/S atTTIN A UTTLB COU>CR