Page 80 - designs_Neat

32 What do you call a day that’s not
serious about anything? Casual
Friday.
33. What’s the one thing that’s better
than a Friday night? A day off on
Monday.
34. I’m great at multitasking on Friday
afternoons. I can waste time, be
unproductive, and
procrastinate all at once.
35. What’s the best way to get a dozen
people to say bye 300 times?
A conference call.
36. I know I’m home when the Wi-Fi
automatically connects.
37. When my friends ask what I do
working from home, I tell them I work
undercover because I stay wrapped
in a blanket.
41. Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft
21. What do you call 12 people doing the 38. Things would be so much better if I Office, I will find you! You have my
work of one? A committee. could take the work part out of
working from home. Word!
22. What’s the problem with
unemployment jokes? None of them 39. Every time I’m late to a Zoom 42. I like work when I’m at home. It
fascinates me. I sit and look at it for
work. meeting, I always blame network hours.
traffic.
23. I got a job at a paperless office. Ev
erything was great until I needed to 40. My pets are my favorite coworkers. 43. What did the nearsighted
use the bathroom. optometrist say when he was sick?
I can’t see myself coming in today.
24. When an employment application
asks who is to be notified in case of 44. Why are chemists great at solving
emergency, I always write, “A very problems? Because they have all the
good doctor.” solutions!
45. Why did the developer go broke?
25. When I got to work this morning, my
boss stormed up to me and said, Because he used up all his cache.
“You missed work yesterday, didn’t
you?” I said, “No, not particularly.” 46. What does the world’s top dentist
get? A little plaque.
26. I always tell new hires, don’t think of
me as your boss, think of me as a 47. Why did the scarecrow get
friend who can fire you. promoted? Because he was out
standing in his field!
27. What did the supervisor say to the 48. Why did the can crusher quit his job?
calendar? Your days are numbered.
Because it was soda pressing.
28. What do they call the boss at Old Mc
Donald’s farm? C-I-E-I-O. 49. Why is a doctor always calm?
Because she has a lot of patients.
29. The first five days after the weekend
are the hardest. 50. Why did the employee get fired from
the calendar factory? He took a day
30. Who wins in a fight between Sunday off.
and Monday? Sunday. Monday is a
weekday.
31. You know what can really ruin a
Friday? Remembering it’s only
Thursday.