Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #442

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A young couple were in their hon- eymoon suite and getting ready for their wedding night. They were both feeling turned on, and were looking for- ward to their first night as man and wife.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, suddenly threw his pants to his new bride.
He said, “Here, put these on.”
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body, so the pants just dropped to the ground.
“Too big! Looks like I can’t wear your pants,” she said.
“That’s right,” said the husband, puff- ing his chest. “And don’t you ever forget it. I’m the one who wears the pants in this family.”
The woman raised her eye- brows. Suddenly she threw him her panties and said, “Here, try these on.”
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.
“Hell,” he said. ”I can’t get into your panties!”
She replied, “That’s right...and that’s the way it is going to stay until you change your attitude.”
An Austrian maid asks the wife who employs her for a pay raise.
The wife became very angry about this and decided to talk to her about this raise.
She asked, “Now Anna, why do you think you should get a pay increase?”
“Well, madam, there are three reasons why I should. The 1st is that I do iron bet- ter than you.”
Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”
Anna: “Your hus- band he say so.”
Wife: “Oh yeah?”
The second rea- son:“thatIama better cook than you.”
Wife: “That’s a lie, who said you were a better cook than me?”
Anna: “Your hozban he did.”
Wife increasingly
agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”
Anna: “The third reason is that I am better than you in bed.”
The wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth, asks, “And did my husband say that as well?”
Anna: “No Madam... The gardener did.”
(A moment of silence passes...)
“So... how much do you want?”
Two kids were deciding what game to play.
One said, “Let’s play doctor!”
“Good idea,” said the other. “You be the doctor who operates, and I’ll be the patient who sues.”
A girl involved with a women’s lib group boarded a crowded bus and one man rose to his feet.
“No, no! You must not give up your seat, I insist!” she said.
The man replied, “Lady, you may insist as much as you like. But this is my street, so this is where I get off.”
Idaho Dog Gains
A Following For
His Bowling Skills
By Ben Hooper
Jan. 4 (UPI) -
- The star player at an Idaho bowl- ing alley boasts an unusual pedi- gree -- he's the owner's golden- doodle.
Katelyn Simpson, owner of KT's Lanes in Emmett, said she put a ball on a kids' ramp when Blake was only a 12- week-old puppy, and the dog sur- prised her by pushing it toward the pins.
"We always thought it would be fun to teach
him how to bowl, so as soon as he got tall enough to reach the ramp, we put a ball up there and we tried to just see what happens and he loved it!" Simpson told KBOI-TV.
"So, we just put the ball on top of the ramp and we held a treat, like, above the ball," Simpson said. "We're like, come on, you know, kind of helped him, showed him a couple times, just pushed the ball with his arms and he caught on and just started
doing it on his own."
She said Blake, now 8 months old, is improving at the game.
"I think his high game is, like, a 93," said Simpson, who played on the USA Junior National team in 2015. "He gets strikes every once in awhile, pretty good spare shooter."
Blake's skills have made him a social media star, with videos on his Instagram page -
- @BlakeTheBow lingDoodle -- being shared thousands of times.
"Everybody that I know through bowling just loves him. Like, 'Oh my gosh, you have a bowling dog.' So, he's very popular," Simpson said. "His last video on Facebook got, like, over 16,000 views."
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