Page 129 - Magazine 2022-intractive flip
P. 129
t’s funny how i always thought when you hold her in your arms
that we were endgame and look into her eyes,
ii remember the fresh mist of first love do you remember,
like the prettiest rose in a garden, the hurt you caused me,
the purest stream of water or, the pain you put me through
the clean window pane in our bedroom the breakdowns i never overcame?
you told me you hated being lied to, ironic oh, does she cause you pain?
cause nobody lied to me like you did does her existence power my absence?
does the guilt and regret kill you?
it’s funny how i always thought i hope she’s nothing like me
that we were in love or she’ll end up abandoned;
i remember the anxiety building up, frequently unwanted.
in the gradual movement of the clock hand,
the voices and echoes in my head or, it’s funny how i always thought
the deafening silence in our empty, desolate bedroom i made a mistake
guilt trips and sleepless nights
you made me vow never to leave you hanging, spiralling in this unending misery
ironic cause nobody disowned me like you did but then i saw you again
on that dreary sunday evening
when you wake up next to her you placed your hands inside her pockets
is it everything you’ve ever wanted? and she smiled sweetly
do you say, God! but i saw your eyes had already locked someone else’s.
that’s the face i want to wake up to?
or does she remind you of me? Ridha Fathima
II BA English Language and Literature 129
