Page 10 - HCC Vol 24 June 9th 2023

From the Wellbeing Team
Grades do not define our worth
ISSUE 4 | TERM 2 | 2023
I remember the first time I felt like my pre-schooler was falling behind. I had just met another 3-year-old who could read. Actually read, not just remembering the words to a favourite story like my pre-schooler
Yes!
and it often has nothing to do with sexual intimacy. Consent exists in every interpersonal context, like in the
Consent Conversations with Kids
did. In fact, my kid was only just mastering the alphabet song! Should I have been spending more time with phonics flashcards? Maybe we needed to start doing worksheets? Was I doing something wrong?
Understanding consent as a concept is essential to everyday life and relationships for people of all ages -
playground as kids learn to negotiate mutually enjoyable games to play, respecting others’ boundaries or
But I didn’t need to pull out the flashcards. What I was doing wrong was focusing on observable
managing disappointment when someone says no.
outcomes. We want to see growth in the way our kids can count and read because those are the things we
can eaCsiolnysmenet aesducreat.ioBnuetntchoeuraegaelswchoilrdkreonftporteh-inskchabooultawnhdatemveakneps rfoimr raersypescthfuol oatltitsudmeus cahndmboehreaviomupr. oWretant than
A B C acnadn 1- a2nd3.nIete’sd tohe- cwreoartke oafptoesiaticvheicnognsoeunrt kcuidltsurseowchiaelreskchilildsr,etnheanndoytouenagsipleyompleaimsumrediaatetltyrtibhiunktetso of being able to wait for a turn, process uncomfortable feelings, and problem solve.
ask: “Is everyone safe? Is this a safe space for others? Do I feel safe?”
Obviously, we do want our children to learn their A B Cs and 1 2 3s too. But we don’t need to rely on
The topic of teaching consent to children sometimes raises concerns. Parents want to know when it is
tests and homework to measure their learning. We should be able to see it in the way they talk about the
appropriate. Age-appropriate consent education often has little to do with ‘sex’, especially for younger kids. It’s
problem at hand, the way they apply knowledge to new situations, and in the way they creatively build
actually teaching fundamental decision-making skills that will serve them well in their lifetime journey into
on what they know.
adulthood.
We also don’t need to compare them to their peers to see how they measure up. Childhood is a period
Parents/carers play a key role in teaching children about consent. It is a critical responsibility to build this
of rapid growth and learning. But learning isn’t linear, and it isn’t consistent across every child. One
knowledge and these skills early.
child may be thriving academically – able to spell words even adults struggle with like ‘definitely’ and ‘facetious’... but they can’t do the monkey bars yet. Another child may be a competitive gymnast... but
Some examples of consent education by parents/carers at different ages:
hasn’t learnt all their times tables yet. And yet another child may be a maths whizz...but still needs to work o1n-m5aykeinagresyoeldco: Bntoadctywsiathfepteyoapnledwnhailme itnhegyb’roedtaylkpinagr.ts
Learning about body safety needs to happen at a very young age. Everyone has the right to body autonomy and
But just as we need to remember not to compare our kid to their peers, we also need to teach our kids not to schoomulpdabreatbhlemtosdelveelospttohethteooirlspteoevresrb. aTlhisiestihseirmbpouonrdtanrietsfoanrdstfueedlesnaftes. Bwohdoy saarfetsytirnufogrgmlaintigon, breustujltusst as importiannktidfsohratvhinogstehewphoowesreaenmd ktonobweleadtgethtoektnoopwowfhtoheis callaoswse.dHteorteo’uschothweiyr obuodcyaandtesatrcahtetghieesmto, rbeysptoenadching yourself first:
when boundaries are not listened to. I.e., “stop it I don’t like it”
Step 1. Remind yourself that grades aren’t everything
But consent is also about understanding ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Hugs, tickles, kisses, and so on all fall under the consent umbrella.
Step 2. Remind yourself that grades are much less important than social skills Step 3. Remind yourself that “comparison is the thief of joy”
5 - 8 years old: Communication skills
Step 4. Cultivate a growth mindset
Consent means our children learn how to negotiate an activity that everyone will enjoy. You can also teach children the importance of how to pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues e.g., being aware if someone
For more detailed information on these steps, please visit the article on our website using the link below.
seems uncomfortable when they ask to play with them or if the other person suddenly doesn’t look like they
are having fun in a shared game. You can talk to your kids about how to deal with their disappointment when a
Below is the link to view more information on this topic
friend says no.
https://sites.google.com/harvest.sa.edu.au/college-parent-portal/parenting-ideas/insights-grades- do-not-define-our-worth
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