Page 13 - flip book- How To Survive Baby Loss

What to Expect Within the Unexpected

After we lost our son at the six month mark, I was having a
very frank one-way conversation with God about my hatred
for my own body. I hate my body so deeply! I almost stated it out
loud, and He spoke to my heart, “Get off sugar.” It was not that
I was a sugar addict, but I did have an unhealthy daily habit of
seeking a sugar fix. The more sugar we have, the more we crave
it. I hated the forty pounds that I had gained with our heavenly
son, Ethan. In that moment, God was inviting me to release and
respond to His impression. The choice to respond was the best
I could have made for my greater health and joy.
If you feel like your body failed you, remind yourself that
it did not. If you experience some self-hatred, or if you blame
yourself for what happened, ask God to shine His light on the
truth. Ask Him to tell you how to respond to your feelings. He
wants to direct you into His comfort and truth.

A Timeline of the First Year

While we all process grief uniquely, I want to share with you
my personal experience grieving our stillbirth. I invite you to
relate and find the similarities as you think about your own
journeys. Your first year after child loss may go something like
the following:

Week One

The moment you leave the doctor’s office or hospital empty
handed is one of the hardest of your life. Hopefully there is a
family pet or a living child to greet you, but it does not feel the
same. Emptiness fills your heart, and it is a heavy weight hav-
ing to tell people that you are no longer expecting, because you
lost your baby. For a while you may want to retreat from others
for some alone time to process and cry. He will revisit these mo-
ments daily or even hourly.
To help with the trauma of the moment, here are some things
I did that you can do immediately: The night we lost our son, I
sent a text to loved ones asking them to pray for a miracle, that
our God would bring life from the dead. The day we left the

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