Page 9 - flip book- How To Survive Baby Loss

What to Expect Within the Unexpected

t is safe to say that your world has changed. By now you
Ihave probably searched the internet for answers for how to
cope, or what to expect as you process this tragedy, but nothing
can truly prepare you for the blow of child loss. All the color has
left your universe, the sun has dimmed, and time stands still.
You were whole, now you just feel broken into a million pieces.
Your plans were stolen from you, and your family is displaced.

Maybe you were planning for twins, but now you have no
children in your perfectly decorated nursery. Perhaps you had a
textbook healthy pregnancy, but it ended in stillbirth. You were
nursing the six month old love of your life, but now you are
nursing a devastated heart and dealing with a body that is still
able to nurse but in vain. You were excited and expecting the
best, but received instead the worst. Life has given you your
share of pain and rejection, and maybe even loss, but never
have you been so broken by news until this point. This is life
altering. Maybe you are struggling with insomnia, interrupted
sleep, or too much sleep in your effort to cope. Perhaps you
have lost your appetite, you’re having nightmares, fear, anxiety,
worry, anger, depression, or you are overwhelmed constantly.
It is sometimes as if it is happening to someone in a TV show,
not you. It is like a bad dream that you desperately want to end.
But it doesn’t.

Now what? Emotionally, baby loss can only be messy. Before
we deal with the emotions and seek to normalize the grief, trig-
gers, and more, let me address what you may be experiencing
or will experience physiologically. Much depends on your situ-
ation. Where you were in the process of the pregnancy or infant
loss can determine what is next.

If you had a miscarriage between 0-20 weeks, there may
have been some cramping, then miscarriying into the toilet.
This often happens without the mother’s even knowing there is
a problem. Some live with the fact that they may have flushed
the tiny baby down the toilet without even seeing them. Some
are relieved by it. Others know they will miscarry and wait for
it at home, while others go to the hospital to be induced, or

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