Page 89 - Keralite Magazine _new 1 copy

KERALITE
2018

My parents moved to America from the southern
part of India over 30 years ago. My sister and I were
Growing up born in America in the Metro Detroit area.

Those are some important facts to keep in mind.
with Because…

South Indian My parents grew up in a di erent culture and during
much di erent times than my sister and I did.

Parents The Cause Of Many Arguments
And Misunderstandings

And that has been the cause of many arguments
Actions speak and misunderstandings between us American born

louder than words. kids and our immigrant parents.

The cultural di erences are appalling. The kids
usually have a very hard time understanding why
their parents think and act so di erently from them.
The parents feel the same way about their kids.

Parents of course always want what is best for their
kids, it is a big reason why they moved to America
to start their family here and not in India.

Brian Kurian Immigrant parents move to America in hopes of a
better life for themselves and their families. They
want their kids to grow up with everything that they
themselves never had. Parents want their kids to
end up becoming better human beings than them
“The cultural someday.

differences are My own father told me yesterday…

appalling. I want you to try to be an even better person than

The kids usually me. I want you to try to be a better father than I
was. Making money is one thing but what I really
have a very hard want is for you to try to be a better person than I

time understanding was. You must try your very best to do this.

why their parents Unfortunately, the parents never expect all the
distractions and freedoms that America has to
think and act so o er. It is hard being a kid and growing up in this

differently country. It is very easy to lose your way and lose
your focus. It is even harder when your parents do
from them.” not always understand what you are going through

64

are facing so that they do not feel alone in their met anyone that cares about mine and my sister’s
battles. Parents need to provide emotional support well-being as much as our parents do.
to their kids. We need to work together as a team Also, parents need to show some respect to their
so everyone can achieve whatever it is they want to kids. Kids these days go to schools where they do
achieve.
not even feel safe. If you look at the news every
It will be hard but we must try. couple of months there is another school shooting.
Kids are dealing with bullying, drugs, violence, and
Because actions speak louder than words. all kinds of other terrible things. Often times they
do not know how to talk to their parents about
Respect Each Other these things because they feel that their parents

cannot relate to these problems.
Kids need to show respect to their parents. Our
immigrant parents will rarely complain about how It is hard being a kid these days. Unfortunately, I do
hard they have had to work to support us not think it is easy to be a carefree happy kid these
financially. Our parents will quietly shoulder the days. Times have changed and kids are being
burden and make sure their families are safe and forced to grow up faster and faster nowadays.
protected. Our parents are warriors but unlike most Technology is only making things worse in a lot of
people, they just do not run around telling everyone aspects for children. Parents, please try and
how hard they work. They do not need to tell understand what your kids are going through. Their
anyone how hard they work. problems are probably di erent than the problems
because a lot of times they did not go through the Communicate Better you dealt with when you were a kid in South India
same things in South India when they were growing I am willing to bet any amount of money that your but nonetheless they are major problems for your
up. Communication is key. Your parents cannot read parents would do anything to help you. They would children.
your mind. Your kids cannot read your mind. As a make any sacrifice necessary to make sure that you Show respect and empathy toward your children.
It’s OK. family, you will need to be honest with each other get what you need to live a good life. Your parents
and talk to each other. I know it sounds simple but are working tirelessly to make sure that they are I know it will be hard but we must try.
The kids seem to want to be independent and at
first glance, they seem to be very rebellious. They often times it is a hard thing for us to do. laying down a solid
want to find their own path in life. Often times it is One idea I have is to have regular dinners as a family foundation for you to turn
not the path that their parents want for them. once or twice a week. These dinners will present a into a great human being.
great opportunity for the kids to share with their No one else on this Earth
I am no di erent. My family wanted me to go into will love you as much and
the medical field but I chose to go into the business parents how their day was. The parents can also sacrifice as much for you
field and now I am a writer too. I chose my own path talk about what happened during their workday. I as your parents will.
to happiness in life. know it will be an adjustment for a lot of us to do
such a thing but we need to try. If we keep doing Trust me when I say that.

Constant misunderstandings lead to more the same things over and over again then we will
arguments… keep getting the same results. I have met thousands of
people in my life. I have
But that’s the thing. It’s all just a misunderstanding. There will keep being miscommunication and been all over this country
misunderstandings. We absolutely need to make
I have learned over the years that the best way to more of an e ort to communicate with each other. and to di erent parts of
fix a misunderstanding is to communicate better. We need to talk about our struggles and our fears. the world. I still have not
met a single man or
It will be hard but we must try. There needs to be a level of comfort between the woman that has as good of
kids and the parents. Kids should feel comfortable a work ethic as my mom
Because actions speak louder than words. with talking to their parents about problems they
and dad. I have also never

Because actions speak louder than words. When I was hurt by di erent people throughout my
life I always remembered my mother’s love. Her
Work As A Team
kindness and ability to forgive others made me

A family should be a well-oiled machine. A family want to let go of my own pain and forgive others.
should work very well together. Each member of The love she always showed me made me capable
the family has di erent strengths and weaknesses. of loving others. My sister is very di erent from me
and yet she inspires me daily to work hard and go
But… after what I want in life. She is a phenomenal person
who is kind and intelligent and I know she will
When everyone is on the same page and working achieve great things in life.
together, beautiful things can happen.

All in all, I wish you and your family the very best in
No family is perfect and we all have our own issues your journey.
but if we want to live successful lives we must work
together. As we go through life let us work together to make
this life a beautiful one.
Often times it is easy for the kids to want to go their
own way and for the parents to go their own way Because we only get one chance and sadly life
too. In America, it is easy to be surrounded by moves very quickly.
people all the time and yet feel like you do not have
a single person in the whole world that cares about Enjoy your life and take care of one another.
you.
I know it will be hard but we must try.
Where friendships fail and relationships can die…
Because actions speak louder than words.
The family must always stay strong and persevere. Your Turn
Often times in life the strength of my parents and
the love of my sister have carried me through my How well does your family do together as a team?
most di cult times. Whenever I felt I wanted to quit
or give up on a goal or dream I had I would always
remember how hard my dad worked every single
day so that our family could have a better life. The
memories of him working tirelessly always inspired
me.