Page 90 - Keralite Magazine _new 1 copy
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part of India over 30 years ago. My sister and I were
                                                                                                                                                                                                 born in America in the Metro Detroit area.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Those are some important facts to keep in mind.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Because…
                                                                                                                                                                                                 My parents grew up in a di erent culture and during
                                                                                                                                                                                                 much di erent times than my sister and I did.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 The Cause Of Many Arguments
                                                                                                                                                                                                 And Misunderstandings
                                                                                                                                                                                                 And that has been the cause of many arguments
                                                                                                                                                                                                 and misunderstandings between us American born
                                                                                                                                                                                                 kids and our immigrant parents.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 The  cultural di erences  are  appalling.  The kids
                                                                                                                                                                                                 usually have a very hard time understanding why
                                                                                                                                                                                                 their parents think and act so di erently from them.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 The parents feel the same way about their kids.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Parents of course always want what is best for their
                                                                                                                                                                                                 kids, it is a big reason why they moved to America
                                                                                                                                                                                                 to start their family here and not in India.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Immigrant parents move to America in hopes of a
                                                                                                                                                                                                 better life for themselves and their families. They
                                                                                                                                                                                                 want their kids to grow up with everything that they
                                                                                                                                                                                                 themselves never had. Parents want their kids to
                                                                                                                                                                                                 end up becoming better human beings than them
                                                                                                                                                                                                 someday.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 My own father told me yesterday…
                                                                                                                                                                                                 I want you to try to be an even better person than
                                                                                                                                                                                                 me. I want you to try to be a better father than I
                                                                                                                                                                                                 was. Making money is one thing but what I really
                                                                                                                                                                                                 want is for you to try to be a better person than I
                                                                                                                                                                                                 was. You must try your very best to do this.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Unfortunately, the parents  never expect all the
                                                                                                                                                                                                 distractions and freedoms that America has to
                                                                                                                                                                                                 o er. It is hard being a kid and growing up in this
                                                                                                                                                                                                 country. It is very easy to lose your way and lose
                                                                                                                                                                                                 your focus. It is even harder when your parents do
                                                                                                                                                                                                 not always understand what you are going through
                                                                                                               KERALITE                                                                          My parents moved to America from the southern
                                                                                                               2018
                                                                                                                                           are facing so that they do not feel alone in their    met anyone that cares about mine and my sister’s
                                                                                                                                           battles. Parents need to provide emotional support    well-being as much as our parents do.
                                                                                                                                           to their kids. We need to work together as a team     Also, parents need to show some respect to their
                                                                                                                                           so everyone can achieve whatever it is they want to   kids. Kids these days go to schools where they do
                                                                                                                                           achieve.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 not even feel safe. If you look at the news every
                                                                                                                                           It will be hard but we must try.                      couple of months there is another school shooting.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Kids are dealing with bullying, drugs, violence, and
                                                                                                                                           Because actions speak louder than words.              all kinds of other terrible things. Often times they
                                                                                                                                                                                                 do not know how to talk to their parents about
                                                                                                                                           Respect Each Other                                    these  things because  they  feel that their  parents
                                                                                                                                                                                                 cannot relate to these problems.
                                                                                                                                           Kids  need  to  show  respect  to  their  parents.  Our
                                                                                                                                           immigrant parents will rarely complain about how      It is hard being a kid these days. Unfortunately, I do
                                                                                                                                           hard they have had to work  to support us             not think it is easy to be a carefree happy kid these
                                                                                                                                           financially. Our parents will quietly shoulder the     days.  Times have  changed  and kids are  being
                                                                                                                                           burden  and  make  sure  their  families  are  safe  and   forced to grow up faster and faster nowadays.
                                                                                                                                           protected. Our parents are warriors but unlike most   Technology is only making things worse in a lot of
                                                                                                                                           people, they just do not run around telling everyone   aspects for children. Parents, please try and
                                                                                                                                           how hard they work. They do not need to tell          understand what your kids are going through. Their
                                                                                                  Photo by NitishMeena on Unsplash
                                                                                                                                           anyone how hard they work.                            problems are probably di erent than the problems
                because a lot of times they did not go through the     Communicate Better                                                                                                        you dealt with when you were a kid in South India
                same things in South India when they were growing                                                                          I am willing to bet any amount of money that your     but nonetheless they are major problems for your
                up.                                                    Communication is key. Your parents cannot read                      parents would do anything to help you. They would     children.
                                                                       your mind. Your kids cannot read your mind. As a                    make any sacrifice necessary to make sure that you     Show respect and empathy toward your children.
                It’s OK.                                               family, you will need to be honest with each other                  get what you need to live a good life. Your parents
                                                                       and talk to each other. I know it sounds simple but                 are working tirelessly to make sure that they are     I know it will be hard but we must try.
                The kids seem to want to be independent and at
                first glance, they seem to be very rebellious. They     often times it is a hard thing for us to do.                        laying   down    a   solid
                want to find their own path in life. Often times it is   One idea I have is to have regular dinners as a family             foundation for you to turn
                not the path that their parents want for them.         once or twice a week. These dinners will present a                  into a great human being.
                                                                       great opportunity for  the kids  to share with their                No one else on this Earth
                I am no di erent. My family wanted me to go into                                                                           will love you as much and
                the medical field but I chose to go into the business   parents how their day was. The parents can also                     sacrifice  as much for  you
                field and now I am a writer too. I chose my own path    talk about what happened during their workday. I                    as your parents will.
                to happiness in life.                                  know it will be an adjustment for a lot of us to do
                                                                       such a thing but we need to try. If we keep doing                   Trust me when I say that.
                Constant    misunderstandings     lead   to   more     the same things over and over again then we will
                arguments…                                             keep getting the same results.                                      I have met thousands of
                                                                                                                                           people in my life. I have
                But that’s the thing. It’s all just a misunderstanding.  There will keep being miscommunication and                        been all over this country
                                                                       misunderstandings. We absolutely need to make
                I have learned over the years that the best way to     more of an e ort to communicate with each other.                    and to di erent parts of
                fix a misunderstanding is to communicate better.        We need to talk about our struggles and our fears.                  the world. I still have not
                                                                                                                                           met a single man or
                It will be hard but we must try.                       There needs to be a level of comfort between the                    woman that has as good of
                                                                       kids and the parents. Kids should feel comfortable                  a work ethic as my mom
                Because actions speak louder than words.               with talking to their parents about problems they
                                                                                                                                           and dad. I have also never

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                Because actions speak louder than words.               When I was hurt by di erent people throughout my
                                                                       life I always remembered my mother’s love. Her
                Work As A Team
                                                                       kindness and ability to forgive others made me
                A family should be a well-oiled machine. A family      want to let go of my own pain and forgive others.
                should  work  very  well  together. Each member  of    The love she always showed me made me capable
                the family has di erent strengths and weaknesses.      of loving others. My sister is very di erent from me
                                                                       and yet she inspires me daily to work hard and go
                But…                                                   after what I want in life. She is a phenomenal person

                                                                       who is kind and intelligent and I know she will
                When everyone is on the same page and working          achieve great things in life.
                together, beautiful things can happen.
                                                                       All in all, I wish you and your family the very best in
                No family is perfect and we all have our own issues    your journey.
                but if we want to live successful lives we must work
                together.                                              As we go through life let us work together to make
                                                                       this life a beautiful one.
                Often times it is easy for the kids to want to go their
                own way and for the parents to go their own way        Because we only get one chance and sadly life
                too. In America, it is easy to be surrounded by        moves very quickly.
                people all the time and yet feel like you do not have
                a single person in the whole world that cares about    Enjoy your life and take care of one another.
                you.
                                                                       I know it will be hard but we must try.
                Where friendships fail and relationships can die…
                                                                       Because actions speak louder than words.

                The family must always stay strong and persevere.      Your Turn
                Often times in life the strength of my parents and
                the love of my sister have carried me through my       How well does your family do together as a team?
                most di cult times. Whenever I felt I wanted to quit
                or give up on a goal or dream I had I would always
                remember how hard my dad worked every single
                day so that our family could have a better life. The
                memories of him working tirelessly always inspired
                me.
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