Page 107 - The Light Dragoon 2024

But this magnificent bolt from the slips was not to be maintained. Doug was soon to enter the phase which he has styled as, to use a financial metaphor, a period of low-growth (with uncharacteristically low interest rates). After spending his entire savings on a magnificent post-tour summer extravaganza in London, Doug was to return to A sqn which had now to bear the brunt of its own success: to spend a long period of time refined to camp. It was here that those bright blue eyes turned slowly to cool grey, the seeds of cynicism lingered where once sparkling pupils lay...
‘Snapped-Doug’ now joined us by the fireplace before dinner. With a furrowed brow, forthright manner and authoritative, pithy demeanour, he would increasingly talk about finance and the relative merits of various internships in the city. As wines member, he may never have made it to Epernay but by God he sounded credible, “post-Brexit trade tariffs have ushered in a bull, we are now looking at £40 a unit”. The mess sat in stunned silence, they had absolutely no idea what he was on about, but his delivery was flawless and his counte- nance stern. He avoided, therefore, any accusations of doing bugger-all between meetings.
Doug would draw upon this forthright nature in his role as A sqn 2IC. His skill in formulating robust excuses relative to his output meant that he had plenty of spare time, which he put to good use sculpting his body for the coming mating-season. ‘Shredded, happy Doug’ was now to be seen springing around camp in jovial spirits after his fleeting weekends in summertime London. It was with this buoyancy of heart that Doug travelled to Verbier that winter as Alpine Captain. With his shock of blonde hair, blue eyes (now restored) and chiselled features, he looked quite the romantic Alpine hero. One need not speculate as to the outcome, suffice to say, this idyll of Aryan manhood with his forthright manner, found no difficulty in attracting the wonderful Leah, who looked upon Doug with doe-eyes and a nostalgia only a German could summon. She swiftly introduced him to her Fuhrer.
Doug returned from a successful ski season to a New Year and a new chapter in his life. His perspective had been changed and his head was so full of financial jargon that it would soon explode. If only he could express himself! Doug undertook that he would. Marching up the steps of RHQ he exploded through the CO’s door and as he
sauntered in, stated, “Colonel, I can’t take it any longer: I’m a banker”.
So it is with great sadness that we say goodbye to a talented young officer, boisterous mess member and dear friend. His candle burned short and bright but a new match is struck; through the darkness of the London smog, in the safety of a flame-retardant office. We wish him the very best. Until Cav mem, Doug. Adieu.
The Regimental Journal of The Light Dragoons
Captain Paddy Bernard arrived at Regimental Duty in early 2016 and made an immediate impact on 3rd Troop, C Sqn. Due to his extended elevation, Paddy was not subtle. This
created complications when occupying an OP or shell scrape by considerably extending its dimensions to accommodate his less than delicate frame. The resulting earthworks can be compared to a game of tetras, with extra channels created to allow Paddy’s legs some cover. Under the watchful eye of Sgt Tynan, Paddy relished his time as Troop leader.
Paddy’s time as Troop leader was unfortunately hampered by a disastrous fall into a rabbit hole (David and Goliath), resulting in hip mobility comparable only to someone far more advanced in age. A further fall off a running machine did not aid his recovery. Not to be troubled by his ailments, Paddy moved to B Sqn and deployed to Poland before moving to Estonia as Liaison Officer.
To continue Paddy’s collection of Sqn t-shirts, he was appointed as A Sqn 2IC. Most notable during this time was his immense skills in recreational origami. In this case, not the ancient Japanese art of paper folding but his ability to enter and exit his Panther, displaying expertise seen only by true masters of the craft.
Paddy deployed to Mali as SO3 ISTAR and was quick to forge a lifelong and unbreakable friendship with his boss, the task force Intelligence Officer, and we were very sad not to see her at the wedding. In addition to his regular duties, Paddy was often detached to work in the UN HQ, offering him a valuable insight into the workings of the UN. This was an undertaking he treasured and his positivity radiated across the task group.
Paddy’s final posting as a Light Dragoon was at RMAS, devel- oping the future leaders of the British Army. Whilst learning to live and fight in the field was vital to Paddy, he also saw great value in instilling the importance of the correct suit-to-shoe pairing into the Officer Cadet’s Life Cycle. Having dedicated substantial time to the development of the perfect Powerpoint presentation for his platoon, Paddy proceeded to berate any officer cadet who saw it acceptable to wear brown shoes with their dark suit and god forbid any of them attempt a potential officer visit wearing a belt.
Paddy has been an exceptional member of the Officer’s Mess. His lust for sea shanties resulted in the creation of the seafaring orientated acapella group, aptly named the ‘Nauty Bouys’, with accompanying order of service. A legacy I hope lives on for generations. Paddy also instilled his penchant for unconven- tional spirits and tobacco. Where an evening of yesteryear may have ended with a nightcap of whiskey, Paddy swiftly intro- duced the potent South American firewater - Mescal, accom- panied by liberal helpings of Scandinavian snus, resulting in chaos for all involved.
We wish Paddy fair winds in his next endeavors. I am reliably informed he has become heavily involved in DIY and the renovation of a ‘doer upper’ in Hampshire, invoking images of Gandalf attempting to enter the home of Bilbo Baggins. Paddy became a huge regimental character and future Officers have some big shoes to fill.
WD
Capt Paddy Bernard
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