Page 125 - She's One Crazy Lady!

How I would have loved to sit with Dad, as we often did in his greenhouse when he was well, and chat with him, knowing he would say, “You’ll be alright chick-chick.” for I would believe him. I wanted to be that impish child again. I also would have loved to have had ‘time’ with Mum too, but her hands were full. Our time together was to come later.
With everyone knowing my news all I could do was sit it out until the day of the operation. As it was, I had a heavy workload and I wanted to leave everything in good order; there was so much going on. What I will always remember though was how some people approached me – as if I had the plague or something catching. Did I look different? Did they see cancer as a death sentence? People would come up close to me, with enquiring eyes, and whisper:
“How are you?”
“I hear you’ve got the Big ‘C’.”
“Yes,” I said, “I’ve got breast cancer.”
Why was it such a taboo subject? This went on for years. I couldn’t
understand why there was such a stigma about cancer. People talked openly about heart problems, about strokes, about Alzheimer’s, about blindness... why not cancer? Were people scared it could be them? Yes, I expect they were, for I knew there were not many families whose lives had not been touched by the disease. But you can’t hide away from it. How many people were needlessly suffering by keeping things to themselves? That tiny seed inside me of wanting to be of use to others had, unknowingly, sprouted as had the urge to get people talking about it.
We organised a very elaborate leaving ‘do’ for Des, with him being ‘Knighted’ for his services to Highfields and for this we had worked hard behind the scenes to find out more about his life and had contacted many of his friends and family for their input – even from Australia. It really was so much fun. He loved it!
Our Leaver’s Assembly was happy too, but also sad. With Des leaving, the Year 6’s leaving and me going off for a time, there were, undoubtedly, tears as we all danced to “Reach for the Stars” by ‘S Club 7’– the school’s adopted song. My arms ached from so many hugs.
The press also arrived that day to report on my appointment as the new Headteacher and of Des’s departure.
In the intervening time before going in for surgery I went into school every day, leaving at 7.00pm on Monday August 1st; going into hospital on the morning of Tuesday August 2nd. I was OK. Keeping busy was what I had to do.
“I couldn’t understand why there was such
a stigma about cancer. People talked openly about heart problems, about strokes, about Alzheimer’s, about blindness... why not cancer?
”
The sooner it was done, the sooner I would be back.
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