Page 51 - DIVA_4_2006_No.27

DIVA's Diplomatic Bag

AMBASSADRESS

Ai'nbassadress, indeed! As ly-botoxed wife, a monosyl- lose.
all we Diplomatic Bags labic Oriental couple and a
la'iow to o'iir constant frustra- High-Ranking Religious Today I was out in the cold,
tion, the terin doesn't even Gentleman. Being a lapsed underdressed as usual,

exist. And even when one believer, these latter always accompanying a visiting
uses the cumbersomely cor- throw me. It invariably takes politician as he pressed the
rect terminology - Wife of me half an hour to work out flesh in exchange for a hand-
the Ambassador - it still whether to address them as ful of overseas votes.
doesn't carg much weight. Your Eminence or Your Overseeing his wife as she

Partner? You have to be Excellency, and I know it has abused her credit card facili-
joking. Equality doesn't something to do with the ties in preparation for the
come into the equation here. colour of their head-gear, but coming season. Catching
We are, at best, an appenda- after a couple of glasses of bronchia} 'flu for my country.

ge and, at worst, a liability. A the white and bubbly I can And now, even more scanti-
ticking bomb to be kept on as never remember which is ly dressed, it is time for the
short a rein as humanely pos- which. I can, however, do requisite three cocktail par-
sible, if I may be forgiven a better than the chap sitting ties/National Day celebra-
mixed metaphor or three. opposite me at a Tiaras-Will- tions of the evening (identify

Be-Worn occasion the other ambassador or fiost, congra-
So, if there is one thing His evening{ 'who wanted to tulate or commiserate, hook
Excellency would never know whi"h royal family the a passing waiter for a glass

encourage me to do (and he ladies with crowns belonged of fizz and make way dis-
may well be right), it is to to. Anyway, there I was last creetly to nearest exit, if
place my diplomatic toffigue night playing conversational necessary through the kit-
firmly in my diplomatic tennis: leff, right, left, right chen. Head off to next bash
cheek and describe my and centre to keep them all in and repeat 'procedure.) Such
diplomatic week. And when the conversation. The pro- a glamorous life.
Diva asked me to do just blem was that the lady to the
that, I jumped at the chance. right was intent on infomiing
You couldn't see the key- the company at large about
board for dust. Not that you her three children, whereas I
could anyway, we being in wanted a straight-from-the-

full domestic crisis right horse's-mouth opinion
now. But I have no doubt concerning the Religious
that that can soon be resol- Leader's recent decision to
ved once we resign ourselves declare limbo a no-go area.
to yet again paying way over Prior to working up, possi-

the going rate - as is our bly, according to reactions,
wont. Do not, however, to the gay priests' problem,
,expect me to name names you understand. By the time

<; because,after all, we would I'd turned back to the

quite like to finish the rest of Orientals to explain about
.., our career with dignity. limbo, I'd lost my audience
back to the Problems of
We gave an interesting din- Secondary Schools and potty
ner last night. An unlikely training. No, not in that
juxtaposition of a newly arri- order, obviously. Oh well.
ved Ambassador with high- Some you win, some you