Page 58 - Meeting with Children Book

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be present in the room during the meeting
with parents

Meetings Versus Feedback
Feedback has a sense of a one sided presentation. In
creating a sense that a Child Consultant will bring
feedback to parents from the Child meeting the Family
Mediator is unknowingly creating a prospective
environment where, if the “feedback” is not
consistent with a particular parent’s beliefs or views,
a defensive reaction is almost guaranteed. Rather, the
concept of a Meeting with Parents, to speak together
about the thoughts and views of the children, creates
the space for everyone in the process to bring their
observations about the children’s views into
discussion. The meeting becomes a conversation,
rather than a presentation.

Parents who come to a session with the expectation
of receiving feedback are likely attend with their hyper
vigilant defenses engaged. Garber (2010) identifies
the following forms of defense mechanisms:
Adult Defenses
Displacement Redirection of strong feelings
from their actual source to
another, less threatening
source
Dissociation Separation of strong emotion
from self, sometimes
expressed as "not me"
experience