Page 13 - Mangwanani Magazine - June2017

FATHER’S DAY

Honour your Dad

and his sense of humour this Father’s Day

with these hilarious one-liners from famous comedians.

"Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody course, that's not all. You'd also make a restaurant
sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing reservation, and at the end of the day, you'd dress up and
up." go out and have a nice dinner, during which you'd propose
– Ray Romano a toast to Dad. Who would be back home, in front of the
TV, happily asleep in his veteran underwear."
"There should be a children’s song 'If you’re happy and – Dave Barry
you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.'"
- Jim Gaffigan "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when
"My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he
My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was had learned in seven years."
a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out - Mark Twain
bad, it means they took after her side of the family."
- Jeff Foxworthy

"The only Father's Day tradition in my family is the annual
conversation he and I have where I say, 'Hey, Dad, what
do you want for Father's Day this year?' and he says,
'Nothing.' Then I ask my mom what I should get him and
she says, 'He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewellery and
Chanel No 5 perfume.'"
- Michael Showalter

"Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin
unprotected."
- Red Buttons

"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a
piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more
proof."
- Rodney Dangerfield

"My dad used to say 'Always fight fire with fire,'
which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire
brigade."
- Harry Hill

"On the perfect Father's Day. There would be just
Dad, wearing his oldest surviving undershorts, free
of pressure, maybe just sitting in front of the TV,
watching the NBA finals. There would be no
conversation, other than Dad periodically observing
that these players today could carry the ball across
Montana and never get called for traveling. … Of

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