Page 91 - Ebook hey-vav part 2 140118 HTML

P. 91

genes, and a father and a mother. And if we experienced strong

influences, it will influence us. If my parents set out a good

example in their relationship for me, it does good things to my

life. If I have a parent who abandoned me and I had to search for

love, then all of the theories claim that one of two results occurs:

either I develop in the direction of “holding mommy’s apron”,

and later the spouse’s, because I don’t want to be alone; or I go

in the direction of withdrawing and arrogance, fearing the

breaking of the walls I have built, and that’s a negative thing.

The innovation Imago made”, Segal explains further, “is that

this influences us when we choose a spouse. We often search for

those who remind us the warm, loving side of our parents, and

beyond: those who will help us reach perfection”.

According to Imago, the interpretation of the phrase ‘perfection’

is not the one’s “unfinished half”, but an implementation of

latent qualities. “G-d made us worthy and capable of attaining

joy, love and perfection, but we got hit left and right on the way:

“you shouldn’t do this” and “shame on you” – and each of us

shrunk in a different way. Often, we play down a part of our

personality because we didn’t get positive feedback on our

actions, but the abilities and desire exist within us. The divine

plan is for us to find a spouse, through which and along with we

can grow out the inner parts of us that we have not taken out

before. In a good relationship you can be yourself, in it you can

reach your own perfection, and to express all of your sides”.

Segal’s workshops are meant for any couple, because everyone

can emerge enriched from it. In practice, however, the people

86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96