Page 111 - of-human-bondage-

XVIII

ut Philip could not live long in the rarefied air of the
Bhilltops. What had happened to him when first he was
seized by the religious emotion happened to him now. Be-
cause he felt so keenly the beauty of faith, because the desire
for self-sacrifice burned in his heart with such a gem-like
glow, his strength seemed inadequate to his ambition. He
was tired out by the violence of his passion. His soul was
filled on a sudden with a singular aridity. He began to for-
get the presence of God which had seemed so surrounding;
and his religious exercises, still very punctually performed,
grew merely formal. At first he blamed himself for this fall-
ing away, and the fear of hell-fire urged him to renewed
vehemence; but the passion was dead, and gradually other
interests distracted his thoughts.
Philip had few friends. His habit of reading isolated him:
it became such a need that after being in company for some
time he grew tired and restless; he was vain of the wider
knowledge he had acquired from the perusal of so many
books, his mind was alert, and he had not the skill to hide
his contempt for his companions’ stupidity. They com-
plained that he was conceited; and, since he excelled only in
matters which to them were unimportant, they asked satiri-
cally what he had to be conceited about. He was developing
a sense of humour, and found that he had a knack of say-

110 Of Human Bondage